Thursday, September 21, 2017

Working to Rx my WOD in the Box

Bro: How many plates can you clean?
Me: Um, I have a dishwasher? So probably like 15? But I only have like 8 plates right now, I don't have a lot of dinner parties and my formal table only seats 8. Wait, do you have more than 8 friends!?

Every hobby has its own language. While never meant to be elitist, this is often done to foster a sense of community among people with common interests. If you know the lexicon, you are one with the tribe. So, while I am working very hard to learn the language of crossfit (WOD BOX Snatch!), I'm still struggling to learn how much weight I can do for each workout. How many plates can I do?  Zero, the answer is always zero.  Quickly followed by: Well, how much does the bar weigh? Lets start there....

When I first started running I had a similar problem (Fartlek, interval, stride, 8x400 what?). How fast should I run this training run? Usually, the answer was "figure out how fast will kill you and back it off a bit".  Hell, even when I was an experienced runner I often struggled with how fast to run.  Never did I have a more confused look on my face than when I was trying to figure out a pace for a 12k race or answer the question "how fast can you run?".  Usually I would fumble around with pacing like in the bedroom and come up with some sort of middle ground between what I think would be too fast and what would be too slow and completely blowing up 2/3 of the way through also like in the bedroom.  Crossfit has been no different.



With the wide variety of lifts, movements, and frankly things I haven't done in 10 years, I'm constantly trying to figure out how much would be too much and how much would be too easy.  In all seriousness, the strategy thus far has been to take the suggested weight for females and use that. Most of the time it works, but often times I have to drop it down even from there - especially for leg workouts.

I'm finding that anything that has super high reps I'm good at.  Anything that has super high weight, I am terrible at. Which, makes sense. I haven't lifted anything other than my skinny legs for 10 years so I have a LOT of slow twitch muscles built up. Unfortunately, while logical, it is still tough on the ego to see almost everyone else doing more than you.

But, never to back away from a challenge, I'm willing to put in the work to make it better. Afterall, if I can Rx my next power clean workout, maybe my friends at the box will finally see me be on top of the next AMRAP. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

A post about nothing

Since this blog has always been a very thinly veiled attempt at telling all of my witty life stories under the guise of running, I thought it was time enough that I ramble on about nothing and everything all at once. The last 6 months have reminded me of the saying, "if you want something done, ask the busiest person you know and they'll find a way".  That is me. I'm the busiest person. Everyone is asking me to do everything. I would tell you it was a lie that I've had to schedule time to poop, but.....

My son is still as fun as ever. Fun of course meaning I have to ask him to do things 3 times and then usually yell something like "IF I FEEL YOUR TOOTHBRUSH WILL IT BE WET?!".  Checkmate, little man, brush your teeth.

Hey there, sweetheart. Do you come here often?


I have to admit, I've gotten pretty good at nagging him to do things. Usually I'm nagging while I'm on the couch looking at crossfit Instagram accounts.  Have I mentioned I'm in crossfit now? All I need is a nasty recliner that is for some forsaken reason outside on the porch and a careless attitude about nudity in the locker room to go along with way too much body hair and my transition to old man would be complete. Get off my lawn

The picture before this we all had our tongues out


But, in spite of some of the frustrations, every so often he reminds me that he is still my baby boy that weighed 5lbs 14oz when he left the hospital.

Snuggles with his favorite Luigi doll


So, I have a beard now. You would know this if you followed me on Instagram hint hint. I am still not sold on it 100%. It has more gray hairs in it than I would like to admit and most days I feel like it is more work than just shaving (leave it to me to figure a way to make everything harder).  But a few people have told me it looks good and I think that it will be hilarious to look back on 5 years from now in a "what are you talking about mullets were totally in style!?" kind of a way.  This coming from a guy who had a bowl cut for a solid 8 years growing up.

Stupid beard....


My dog Max has been...... Well..... He is a puppy. How long can I use that for him being a little shit?  Either way, I'm sure he'll grow out of the chewing stage in 5 or 6 years.  In the meantime, all of my couch pillows are now on lockdown and every time I come home my son and I play the what did Max eat today game....the game where nobody wins.

RIP pillow


Finally, I'm still posting a photo a day on Instagram.  I'm nearly 4 years in - in fact, I've posted over a thousand picture on there.  This Friday will mark day 265 which means there are 100 days left in the year.  As much as I joke about stuff, things in the 'Boring household are going along swimmingly. But, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I was a bit reflective on the time left in the year. I think I'm going to spend some time this weekend deciding how I want to spend the remainder.  I'll bet I could get at least 5-6 photos out of pumpkin spiced lattes!

Monday, September 11, 2017

A week in review

One week of consistently doing (is 'doing' the right verb?) crossfit down! After a week, since I am now officially an expert, I can only assume that sponsored blog posts and free equipment reviews are only a few days away!  So, since everything is still new in the "awww, its cute when he bites his fork while eating" kind of way, I thought that I would provide a few of my first impression thoughts.  Like everything else that is new, I'm just laughing at all of the jokes, trying not to get handsy, making sure to keep it fun and light, and try to keep my sweating under control.

Me and all of my crossfit friends
Quote a friend of mine: "No one gets to crossfit early".  Noted. 



I'm sore....and my butt is chaffing.....and I have blisters everywhere
So, look. I'm not built to do a lot of work all at once. I'm built to do a little bit of work 1,000 times. Helllooooooo ladies.  The thing about crossfit, or lifting weights in general, is that the most you would ever work out would be an hour - usually closer to 30 minutes. That means that the workouts are INTENSE.  This is both the appeal as well as the black eye of crossfit. On the one hand, the intensity is fun! Grunting and sweating and farting and lifting and more sweating are what makes it challenging. But, on the flipside, that is how people get hurt. For me, it just means that I'm sore in all of the wrong places and have blisters where I have never had them before. Also, I am sweaty.



The workouts might look hard, but there are a billion cheats accommodations
Ah yes. My saving grace. Every single workout has a prescribed weight (for Arnold Schwarzenegger, I assume) as well as a host of ways to make them easier for us mere mortals. No one bats an eye if you throttle down the weights a bit and only a handful of people use the full weight required. This is honestly one of the things I like most about it.  I never have to fear of not being able to do something when I go. Although, I will admit that it is tough to see almost everyone using more weight than me which brings me to....


Be Humble.
Time for a little truth talk. So, I'm used to being good at things. Especially working out. When I stopped running before my surgery, I was pretty regularly in the top 5% of runners. Conversely, I am NOT good at crossfit.  Like, I'm comically bad. I've had to force myself to remember that I got good at running not because I was a good athlete but instead because I refused to quit for 10 years. 80% of success is showing up.  I'm stubborn that way. Quite honestly, half the fun of crossfit right now is the challenge it provides, which I am sure will continue for the next decade or so.

Be Humble.
(Mom, don't listen. There are lots of swears.)



So.  So far, so good. That is, as long as you call struggling to get off of the toilet in the morning "good". But, I'm willing to keep with it. At least for the next 10 years or so.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

First rule of crossfit

The world has a cruel sense of humor sometimes. One minute you're cruising down the road singing Bieber eating a frozen yogurt with extra gummy worms because you're worth it without a care in the world.  The next minute, you blink and realize that your 1,350 post blog hasn't really had a lot of activity in two years.  The reason? A torn patellar tendon, a frayed meniscus, and an IT band that needed to be surgically 'released'. 

So, that happened. 20 pounds also happened (although, most would agree that I tipped the scale a tad on the 'meth addict tweaker' side of the spectrum before anyway). I'll tell you what didn't happen - running. Running never did feel any better than it did pre-surgery.  Cest la vie.  Pass the ice cream. 

Halo Top binge aside (it is only 300 calories per tub, basically health food) I'm always surprised with how and when inspiration will strike.  For example, most of my good ideas happen on the toilet in the 20-25 minutes in the shower. The inspiration for my latest adventure however was a two year old Facebook memory pic of my surgery. I was so excited to be 'fixed' and get back to being 'better'. Nope!! If I am honest with myself, the last few years have been me flopping around from thing to thing like a fish out of water.  I needed focus. I needed a goal. Enter crossfit.



Now, I'm not a trendy guy. I like my TV predictable, my hard candies butterscotch, my oatmeal lumpy, and my workouts plain. But, crossfit has a lot of appeal. There is a competition aspect, but a lot of comradery. There is focus on speed and pushing your limits, but accommodations for all types of T-Rex armed runners. Plus, since everyone knows the first rule of crossfit is to talk to everyone about crossfit, I assume it will provide another 1,350 posts worth of content. Win/win for everyone!

So, I'm going to give it a shot.  And by give it a shot I mean I paid good money to do it so I'm for sure going to do it. This blog started off as my feeble attempts at running which culminated with a 3:04 marathon and a trip to Boston.  I'll be anxiously awaiting where this story line ends up!

Token pic of the kiddo


Oh, and the inspiration to dust off the blog? Edwin, a Kenyan runner, added me on Daily Mile - right after he cranked out 16k at 5:28 pace.  Remember Daily Mile? I barely did. But, I assumed that if a random sub-elite runner was interested in following someone who hadn't logged miles in 2 years, there would be someone interested in reading my innuendo and off color humor progress with crossfit.  Either way, I'm going to message Edwin and see if he likes Justin Bieber....or maybe ice cream. Extra gummy worms are on me, buddy!