Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The triple threat comeback: Getting back to running

Seriously Chewy, get a razor
Last night I mowed the lawn. I really like yardwork.  The itchy watery eyes, small scratches on my arms, and a sore back from pulling weeds… it is heaven!  I know a lot of people that have a lawn service or hire the neighborhood kid, but something about the “process” of transforming something that is wild and unkempt to something that is uniform and manageable calms my soul.  Sort of like manscaping! When I get done I have something to show for my work (mowing, but also manscaping). The same is true with running. Everyone starts out wild and unkempt, but with a little wax and a razor a bit of training the body organizes itself into an amazing machine. Unfortunately for me, my training has fallen into disrepair like my undercarriage belonged to Chewbacca. It is time for a comeback.

But Adam!” I can hear you protest, “You just ran a marathon LAST WEEK! How can you necessitate a comeback!?” (actually asked by good twitter friend Lisa.) My answer is as blunt as it is self-deprecating. Last week’s marathon wasn’t a 26 mile run, it was a 20 mile run followed by 6 miles of bitching, moaning, and grimacing while walking forward.  I’m out of shape…. And it frustrates the hell out of me.

Rally caps, bitches
First, before I go any further, I ran a 3:30 marathon in NJ.  A lot of people would sell a kidney to run that fast.  I get that.  However, it is 26 minutes slower than my PR - literally a minute a mile slower. When my all time goal is to get 4 minutes faster than my PR, running 26 minutes slower is an eternity. I’ve never had any issue with people who run 6hrs or 2:30 (actually, I kinda sometimes want to trip the 2:30 people).  Anyway, with that “its relative” disclaimer out of the way……

So what is a svelt washboard stomach blogger pudgy out of shape runner to do? Pose a comeback!

My comeback is going to be just like Beyonce – a triple threat.  Animal, vegetable, and mineral. (wait, what does triple threat mean?)  They’re all simple things that I haven’t been doing that I know I should be doing. Running off of a schedule, setting myself up for success, and bragging about fast times on social media setting smaller milestones instead of one big one.

Obviously, I'm Beyonce and NOT the dudes pelvic thrusting in the back...because I would never do that... last night... while "watching" The Voice (read: dancing in my living room)

I switched jobs and simplified my life to have the time and energy to do things like this and thus far have simply not been doing them.  That stops now.

I see that I’ve already rambled on quite a bit more than I expected, so the details of my three pronged approach will have to be in a subsequent blog post. Suffice to say that I’m hoping on a few more race pictures like this:
Yay! I still have the energy to be happy and cutesy for the camera!


And a few less like this:
UGHHHH. Get that shit out of my face


Stay tuned for more!

10 comments:

Jamoosh said...

Um...
Charge forward!
You can do this!
You be tha man!

Jamoosh said...
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Jamoosh said...
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fueledbylolz.com said...

Onward and Foreward. What is your goal marathon? I am just ASSuming you chose one...LOL.

I know you'll get back into it. I begin my pretend comeback next week.

Justin said...

Hey Adam great to hear you're coming back! I'm also chasing that 2:59! I thought I had it a month ago but fell apart in the last 4 miles to a 3:02:29 (http://bit.ly/1iZrMSS). Let's do this together! (but separately).

Amelia Gapin said...

It's like that second photo is punishing you for looking so badass in the first one

Gracie said...

Wait, you;re making us comeback for the rest of the post later?! I feel fooled.

Sue's Ramblings said...

You're being too hard on yourself. Take it easy on the comeback, ya? Pls don't hurt yourself in the process.

Christina said...

I'm doing a comeback too and I decided I need to run some more races to get excited about running. Today...5K summer series in Gilbert. I didn't see you out there.

Did you know that I am Arizona's first official Beer Mile DNF? I'm in the record books forever.