In a previous post I quipped that I have been running 45-50 miles a week which allows me to still eat what I want an still consider myself a runner. Much like I never miss an opportunity to watch the Real Housewives train wreck, leave it to someone to never miss the chance to check me for being a runner snob. “You’re still a runner if you run 20 miles/week, agree?” Asked Steven Baskett.
In fact, in my book I suppose there are a few things that put you into the “runner” category:
- 5 miles a week…half running half walking
- Wearing booty shorts (woman or man...heyyyy)
- Participating in a race with any sort of frequency. (once a year? Ehhhh, maybe. 4x a year? Yep)
- Talking about any of the following without laughing: Body Glide (non sexually), fartlek, runners trots, bloody nipples, crotch chaffing (again, non sexually), snot rockets
- Wearing those terrible guy split side shorts that have everyone waiting in anticipation on when "it" is going to fall out
- Drinking more than 3 cups of any oddly short named drink in one day (Nuun, GU Brew, EFS, etc)
- Having previously met any of the above for 6 months, hurt yourself, and soothing your pains in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s
Tastes like recovery
Notice what was missing? Pace. I don’t care if you are winning a marathon or run/walking to the finish in a sunflower costume, regardless of what Garmin Connect software says, there is no “jogging” speed. Either you are running, walking, or crawling to fridge for the extra pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
Do you have any "rules" for when people can call themselves a runner?