Saturday, January 26, 2013

Rain - and Injinji sock winner!!

In Phoenix, we're used to lots of things.  There is leathery sun "kissed" skin and sand/rocks as far as the eye can see, all of the plants have thorns, and there are enough retirees to keep all of the bingo parlors in the country filled with a smokey haze.  One thing we are not used to seeing?  RAIN.

The average yearly rainfall here is around 7" (18 cm).  So, when we get a steady rain all morning, people don't know what to do.  Traffic grinds to a halt and people either stay indoors or go out on their patio and take pictures.

Unfortunately, my run is scheduled for this afternoon, because this would be really fun to run in.  Maybe.  I mean, let's be honest..... If I did run in it, you'd likely get a blog post about how bad-ass I am or how much it sucked.  Maybe both!

Ok, fine.  It is just sort of sprinkling... but this is all we get!

Laura Runs a Latte said that she would like a pair of the Mini-Crew Injinji socks....and she WON the giveaway!  The Mini-Crew is a nice conservative ankle cleavage choice. Shoot me an email and we'll get you   set up with some of the new Performance 2.0 version!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Funny Foto Friday: Race Proposal - and so much more!

Lots of updates in today's post.  Yes, it is a funny foto Friday post, but SO MUCH MORE!!!

First, a quick update on my running.  After running Rock and Roll Arizona pretty easy, (report coming soon) I’m really hitting the miles.  Like, going to run 66 miles in 5 days – also known as, I’m an idiot. I have the base of miles, but I’ve been a bit inconsistent as of late so I’m buckling down and ramping up HARD.  My week thus far, without a 10 and 20 miler on Sat/Sun:

Other than one too many mid run bathroom breaks, my body is basically OK with the miles, so I’m going to continue to plug away. This week has been all pretty “easy” miles around 7:25/mile or so which is why I’ve been able to jump back up. And, for the next 10 weeks, I will not run fewer than 60 miles a week and I want to peak out at 80.  Oyy, 600 miles of running.  Makes my privates chafe just thinking about it.

Next, a few funny pics!

Someone proposed at the end of one of the most recent Never Land Family Fun Run 5K ad Disney and someone else LOST HER SHIT.  Photobombs are great.  Actual story here....
WHAAAAAA?????  Ring must have been BIG!!! Or, very tiny.

I would probably pay extra to be on this flight and see it go down

I'd like to think that I had done WAY worse in college...

Oh Lance. You're just going to have to live out your days with the memories of sleeping with Cheryl Crow and counting your millions of dollars. Boo Hoo.

Finally, the weekly picture of my son.  Yes, that is him with his head under his play grill.  Yes, he was grunting and complaining about how he couldn't get his head out.  He's going to be President some day.  Happy Friday!
Dada!!! Stuck!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Injinji Sock Giveaway!

So, I feel bad about not blogging.  The sad thing?  I really honestly do.  Somehow over the last 5 years or so this blog has become part of my identity that when I don’t contribute to it, I feel like I haven’t called my mom.  The ironic part? I feel guilty when I blog a few times and then call my mom and she says something like “well, I see you’ve been busy!”  Doh.  Maybe I should be talking to my mom while typing this blog post....or, I could just drown my guilt  with a pan of brownies....

Anyway, to get rid of my blogger’s guilt I’m baking brownies!, I’m going to give away some socks!  But, not just any socks.  4 or so pairs of Injinji’s Performance 2.0 socks that have toes!!! Think about it – I don’t run with mittens on my hands unless it is COLD:

I think these are made out of Chewbacca hide

So, why would I run with mittens on my feet?

Mittens on my feet?  No...Just...No.

I don’t always run with toe socks, but I do like how I feel like they keep my feet a bit cooler than normal socks would (similar to how gloves aren’t nearly as warm as mittens).  Injinji recently rolled out a new website and a fun video showing that you really can wear toe socks with any kind of shoe:

Note how the dude has REAL runner feet....

To win, all you have to do to win is check out their brand new website at and let me know how much ankle cleavage you like to have.  (Read: what kind of sock do you like?)  The trick here is that only entries with the correct Injinji size verbiage count!!  No answers like: I’m a floozy, so I like my socks so small that my entire ankle is showing.

Leave a comment and you’re entered!  I'll pick a winner on Friday.  Easy as that.  Make sure you follow my blog (but, I'll be honest, I probably won't double check) and if you wanted to post it on twitter or facebook that would be cool too (probably no additional entries though, just a nice thing to do).

Can you believe how much ankle cleavage she is showing?  Slut.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Funny Foto Friday: Reptile Dysfunction - and more!

Darn it. I really hate when I let a week slip by so there are two funny foto Friday posts in a row.  Doing a weekly post series like FFF is sort of like a timestamp of my life. If my blog is my life, the funny foto Friday posts are certainly the metronome. Tick...  poop joke.  Tock... picture of someone getting kicked in the junk. Tick....  Picture of my head posted on Hugh Jackman's body.

But, rest assured, I have some quality stuff coming up.  I went to traffic school this week, my Boston marathon training plan, a race report from new years (ooops, a little late)... basically loads of stuff.


Running this week has been going okay.  I had a KILLER speed session this week, chalking up 9 miles in 60:57.  It was a ladder interval session with repeats of 400/800/12/16/12/8/400 at decreasing and then increasing paces from 5:30 to 6:00.  It was hard, but fun. (Kind of like date night.)

Of course, as is often the case, with killer workouts come shitty ones shortly there after.  It turns out mine was 8 hours later in the morning. 12 easy miles that about killed me.  I've said that I have a high pain tolerance for high speed running, and I think that I might have pushed a little TOO hard and didn't leave anything in the tank.  Oh well, I'm at least not limping today!


Of all people, George Takei of Star Trek fame is always good for some FUNNY pictures.  Check out his facebook here for some laughs. (Warning, some of them are political.)  Anywhoo, this one was posted on his wall some time back and made me giggle.

Well, I guess my nickname for it IS the little lizard.... 

I don't get a lot of fun mail anymore.  More often than not, my mail can be categorized into: Bills, junk, notices from companies that are going to eventually bill me.  However, the other day I received a letter from my younger brother.  To be clear, my younger brother mails me about as often as you'd expect a 27 year old single guy to mail stuff (read: NEVER).  So, of course I tear into it and immediately bust out laughing.  He is certainly a "man's man" and the thought of him with parted hair and a sweater made me choke on my own spit.

I'd like to think somewhere there would be a link to mail order porn or something

Finally, a picture of my son.  Seriously people, do NOT screw around with a MagnaDoodle.  This shit is serious business. Happy Friday!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Funny Foto Friday: Mom, where are you?

Generally speaking, running has helped me laugh in the face of father time with joints that essentially do what I want them to and an ass that won't quit energy to keep after my son (except for long run day... those days I'm a gimpy, hungry, mess).  But, this week is an entirely different story.  I feel old.  The reason is pretty explainable.  Due to illness, I went from running basically 40 miles a week for the last month or so to an expected 60 this week.  Oyy.

This isn't what I would prescribe for everyone, but I like to think that as long as I'm healthy, 60 miles is essentially my base.  So, while I'm not increasing the miles like I should, I know that after a few complaints my body will basically figure it out and get with the program.  But, until then?  I'll be the 31 year old reaching for the railing in the handicap bathroom stall and taking the elevator to the 2nd floor.


This week's funny foto Friday makes me laugh every time I think about it.  I remember my mom doing a headcount whenever we went anywhere and were about to leave.  Granted, there were only 3 of us kids, but the more I have a kid of my own, the more it seems like losing him is an inevitable predicament.

I totally would have lied.  
"JUST KIDDING, in the bathroom with diarrhea. Will be out in 15 min"

Bonus funny pic!  I'm not sure why this optical illusion makes me laugh (because I'm 5), but it does.

Finally, while I've been sick over the last month, my son has really been a trooper.  He hasn't been TOO naughty and is even starting to potty train.  Thank God for cartoons.  Happy Friday!

The only way that you can tell I felt like death in this picture was my crazy bloodshot eyes! #Winning

Bonus kid pic!  This isn't my son, but I'll bet you $100 it will be, very soon.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Girls are from mars and boys have a... women’s race series?

Raising a toddler makes lots of things apparent to me that I never would have thought of on my own.  Ignorance truly is bliss.  For example, my eyes have been opened to an orgy of singing cartoons that I want to punch in the face that I never knew existed before.  Bob is real, and the little S.O.B. has some freaking BUILDING to do.  Also, I’m finding how little control I have over my life.  I don’t make dinner when I want.  I make it based on when my son starts screaming is hungry.  If I want to go out and run errands, I don’t just go. Oh, no no no.  I need to pack up snacks and diapers and make sure that I’m not out too long to interrupt nap time.  Precious nap time.

One of the other things that is interesting to me are the differences between boys and girls toys.  I can’t buy a gender neutral sleeping bag, I can buy a Barbie one...or I can buy a Cars one. (At least at Target.)  Fortunately, my kid would drive MY car right now if I would let him so he was good to go.  If I go to Target, there is the pink isle and there is the transformer / spiderman isle. It’s very segregated.

A similar thing with gender is happening with races.  More and more often, I’m finding that the “new” thing in running is female only races.  In fact, with 30 seconds of thinking, I came up with this list of female only races:

Nike Women’s marathon
Disney Princess
MORE / Fitness Half Marathon
Diva’s Half Marathon series
Lady Speed Stick Half Marathon Series

Now, to be clear, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with any of these races – but they sure are popping up more and more frequently.

BUT WAIT, I can hear you asking. Why don’t you put on that running skirt that we all KNOW you have and run in the women’s races!?  What about mud runs, color runs, and Spartan races?  Aren’t THOSE the new and best thing in running?  Well, let me introduce you to the Pretty Muddy Women’s mud run series.  To answer the question I know that everyone is asking.  No, bikinis are not the wardrobe of choice.  I looked. Twice.

I realize that I don’t have the requisite parts (ovaries) to comment TOO much on the races, but a female only mud run just sounds absurd to me. Never mind that the race has all sorts of disclaimers on their FAQ page that say that you don’t even have to get muddy. Isn’t it just a road race then?  Generally speaking, races are 60%+ female anyway, do we really need to have something as specialized as a mud run be even more specialized by making it female only?  To me, that would be like going into business selling sex swings (limited market) but only making them available for left handed people (limiting more).  I mean, I would kick ass in the left handed sex swing user segment, but I would think I'd be limiting myself a bit.

I “get” that the purpose of these races is to provide a safe encouraging environment for women to run in.  But, I really feel like a mud run might be going a bit too far.  Am I alone?  If you say that female mud runs are just fine and dandy then I'll totally put on my skirt and dive head first into the mud pit.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Biggest Loser, Poop, and MilestonePod

I’m nearly not sick!!!**  So, as a result, I’m running!!!  Also, if I get sick again I’m going to punch someone in the face!!! This morning I ran 9 miles at 7:39 pace.  For the last week or so, whenever I went for a run and stopped (like at a stoplight) I would go into a coughing fit that was so strong that I could feel my abs getting stronger. One of THOSE kinds of coughs - the kind that you're not sure if you're going to barf or not in the middle.  So, even though I haven’t been running, I guess my abs are going to be ripped?  This morning the coughing wasn’t too bad.  My legs felt TIRED though. Tired and sore – as did my lower back.  Hopefully that is just a blip on the radar and I’ll be back to top form soon.  In the meantime, I guess I’ll just keep polishing my abs via cough.

**bonus points if that made you think of Monty Python.  “he says he’s not dead”  “I’m getting better!


I’m still thinking of what I should do for my new years resolutions, but one of my “don’t get sick” ones is to stop arm wrestling hobos get more sleep.  Well, because of that I was a bit rushed to get out the door and didn’t poop before my run.  Let me tell you, when you are in a hurry....cut out your coffee....don’t check email...but for the love of god – do NOT cut out the morning poop.  Trust me.


Last night was the season premiere of the Biggest Loser.  I’ve said before that I love reality shows like MTV loves exploiting 21 year olds who like to drink, so of course I was glued to the TV.  A few thoughts:

There are kids on the show this season.  I’m sort of hot and cold on that.  Hot: They get to understand WHY they are eating, they learn the tools to get healthier, etc.  Cold:  Shouldn’t their parents be on the show? Someone at home is buying bags of Cheetos and cooking meals made with 70% MSG.  I mean, the kids probably play more Atari (that is the “hot” toy now, right?) than I think about booty shorts, but in spite of not being active, someone is enabling bad behaviors at some point in the good buying / eating supply chain.

Ok Jillian, we get it, you’re fit.  Now put back your niece’s shirt and go get a big girl one.  (Honestly, I love that Jillian was back.  The show needs someone putting people in their place.)


The Boston marathon is in 98 days.  This makes me horribly anxious that the current state of my fitness.  I have some big sub 3 marathon goals that I’d love to hit and I can’t do that when I’m freebasing cough medicine and beer while waiting for brownies to finish in the oven.  The reality is that 40 crappy miles a week isn’t going to get me where I want to be – probably needs to be right around double that.  Nothing is worse than looking back at the last month and realizing that you’ve basically mailed it in because of being sick non stopped (literally).  Time to fix that is now.


Last week Jamoosh posted about a shoe dongle thing called MilestonePod.  It is essentially a USB clip-on that helps to track the miles that you’ve ran with your shoes.  Of course, it is super light weight and more importantly is one less thing for my little Pop Tart and beer fueled brain to worry about – getting hurt with running on old shoes. Well, turns out you can’t buy them yet, but they are doing a Indegogo/Kickstarter trying to raise funds. So, I threw in my $15 to see what the fuss is about.  Honestly, I think it is a cool idea, but probably more so I like that someone is sticking it all out there to try to get a new product to market.  Basically, now that I have my own iPhone app, I have a soft spot in my heart for the little guy.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Funny Foto Friday: Roots, Rust, and Cats

Have you seen that movie Groundhog Day?  It is the one where Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again.  I am currently living in this hell.  WHY do you ask?  Well, I'm sick.  Again.  SICK AGAIN.  This means that I was sick the week of my son's birthday, on Christmas day, and then I started to get sick on New Years Day.  God forbid the next holiday comes up - I might get the plague.

Of course, my Groundhog Day isn't nearly as fun as Bill Murray's.  Where as he basically got to do whatever he wanted with few consequences, I'm hacking like a smoker and blowing like a crack whore.  (My nose.  Because of all of the crack snorting? What did you think I meant?)

This means that I haven't ran since new years day.  However, I am going to break my own rule and run even though I have a cough.  Do as I say, not as I do. Seriously. I can't wait any longer to get started on my Boston Marathon training.  But, I am going to do a few things to try to avoid getting sick in the future:

  • More sleep. 6 hours isn't enough. Period
  • Less doornob licking.  In fact, less nob licking all together
  • No touching of my face. I've developed a habit of touching my face when I'm in deep thought. Websites say that is bad.
  • 25% reduction in walking around my house naked.  It can't be totally sanitary, right?

So, that is my plan.  I'll keep you posted if it works!


This week's funny foto friday is a bit of a hodge podge.  Enjoy!

 This also goes for road runners and those damn sidewalks that are pushed up from tree roots!

Uhhh, I can't think that this is good for the chain, right?

Finally cats.  Cats on the internet are always funny.  Right?  Happy Friday!

Finally, in addition to the normal hilarity, I'm going to try to start including a picture of my son each Friday.  You know, because what are blogs for if not talking about poop and posting pictures of your kids?  Honestly, that is the entire reason I have a blog (the pooping).

When dad isn't feeling 100%, that means my son gets some (50% water) apple juice from Sonic.  We're still learning that you don't have to tip the cup upside down with a straw.  Happy Friday!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I raced! And then I raced again!!

Two is better than one, right?
Full race report coming, but (this time) the reason that I've been a bit out of touch is that over the last 2 days, not only did I run ONE half marathon, I ran two!

On new years eve, I ran an all out, poop my pants or bust half marathon in 1:28:12 - A NEW PR!!  I would like to say it was a perfect race, but it was cold, rainy, I didn't run my tangents well and ran 0.2 more than I needed, and did I mention cold and rainy?  Blarg.  More details to come in my full report.

On new years day, while most were doing the walk of shame or nursing a hangover, I also did both I strapped on my (still slightly damp) running shoes and ran yet another half marathon.  This one was a bit of a shit show (figuratively, not literally) and I limped (literally, not figuratively) through to a 1:36:03.

Strangely, I won my age group both times with the second day being a much slower crowd.

Anyway, since then I've been doing a lot of this:

And polishing the MASSIVE medal that the new years double gives you if you run both days. Worth the pain - barely.