So, I don’t have a gym membership. I haven’t for a while. But, yesterday I hadn’t ran for 2 days because of scheduling issues and I was going bonkers. I wasn’t able to in the morning and I had a late work dinner. Solution? Run between work and the dinner!! The issue? I sweat. A LOT. I would need to shower before dinner and home was 20 miles one way. NEW SOLUTION: buy a day pass at a gym and run/shower there.
I soon found a gym that was between here and there, brought workout clothes with to work and was set.
Day passes for gyms are not cheap. I ran 8 miles and it cost $15. Mile for mile, that is nearly the cost of a cheap marathon. But, I was desperate like a sailor on shore leave so I ponied up the money (also like a sailor on shore leave) and got to sweating (like a sailor on... you know what, you get the idea). What follows is a comedy of errors that shows how little of a gym guy I really am:
First error: No lock for the locker. Not a HUGE deal, I just had to make 3 trips back and forth from the car to hide stuff in the trunk. No harm, no foul.
Second error: Sweat. Since it is so miserable in Phoenix, I sweat... a LOT... Well, by the first mile or two I was fine, but by mile 5 I was a hot mess. Sweat was flying, I was panting like a dog in heat, and worst of all I couldn’t drink a ton, because....
Third error: I forgot a squeezable water bottle. I was able to buy a $3 bottle of poweraid from the gym, (total cost thus far: $18) but I didn’t trust myself to drink on the run and get sweat AND poweraid on others. So, I had to hop off to chug.
Fourth error: No towel. About mile 5, I realized..... “Wait, no one has any towels here”. The one and only reason I’m at the gym is to shower. THIS IS A PROBLEM. The next 3 miles has my mind racing to figure out how I am going to shower. Paper towels... Air dry... Try with workout clothes?? Eventually I finished (8 miles in 56 min – giggity) and begged the front desk if they had anything. As I stood there dripping, they said that they sold towels for $4. Hand towels. (total cost: $22)
So, that is the story about how I got my 8 miles done in spite of the world and like 15 guys saw me stark ass naked as I walked to/from the shower. Because, i'm not about to cover my bits with a freaking handtowel like I'm Adam and Eve. I have to admit though, somewhere between puberty and 32 years old I stopped caring about nudity. So, I guess now I’m one of those old guys who brushes his teeth naked at the sink in the gym. Wiggle wiggle.
Moscow Mules come in copper mugs because Moscow Mules. (????)
Mmmm, tastes like delicious (no, I don't drink out of a straw)
OK FINE. Enough gym time with Adam. Here is your funny friday picture(s).
Seriously, this looks amazing AND like an ER trip waiting to happen. WIN/WIN
This makes me laugh so hard... But only because I wished I hadn't done it
Finally, something very strange happened the other day when I was shopping for groceries with my son. An elderly lady on a mobility scooter saw my son and exclaimed, "OHHHHHH SUCH A PRETTY BOY!!! I want to give him a dollar to buy chocolate". Of course, I
"So, do I color on this paper or what?"