Friday, June 7, 2013

Adventures in Culinary Confusion: Kumquats

Running has been going pretty well over the last few days with the highlight being a mid week easy half marathon on Thursday in 1:37. (Speed is relative...) Unfortunately, I didn't get any fake holiday "runner day" runs in because of an evening meeting for work that lasted 4 hours.  Also unfortunately, Phoenix is getting a bit of a heat wave with yesterday's temp hitting 110 and today scheduled to hit 112.  But, it is a stepback week, so I'll fight my way through 40ish miles and will be back in fighting form next week.


Like I've said before, a month or so back I found myself in a culinary rut.  It was grilled chicken, mac and cheese, and spaghetti as far as the eye could see.  Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining.  I'm pretty sure I could eat grilled chicken 7 days a week and be right as rain.  Ultimately though, I wanted to turn my son into a food snob set a good example for my son.

I mean, even in WalMart where I buy my groceries (see? not a food snob) there were all sorts of belly shirts and meth teeth foods that I didn't even KNOW what to do with. There was really no excuse to not try new things.  So, there have been mangos (annoying), sweet potatoes (good!), and now... kumquats.  Yes.... you heard me... I said kumquats.

Each week, I'd see these cherry tomato sized oranges next to the raspberries and blueberries. I have no idea what a kumquat is.  Hell, it might as well be a snozberry...  But, I threw in a carton with no research beforehand and went on my way in search of more spaghetti sauce and pop tarts.

Kumquats... a fruit with a name only a mother could love

Kumquats are firm to the touch and have an orange peel type peel..... uhhhh...... like an orange peel.  (that description?  NAILED IT)  They smell somewhat citrusy and when cut open, look very similar to a cherry tomato but orange.  Kumquats are basically the bastard child between an orange and a cherry tomato. 

So, when I got home I decided to figure out what I could do with my grape sized bounty and took to the internet to see what recipes I could find.  Turns out?  ONLY FREAKING JAM.  Oh, and pies.  I mean, seriously internet, if I wanted to eat jam and pie I'd just eat a pop tart and be done with it.  So, I took to twitter and a few people said that you could eat them plain.... "peel" and all.  Ok, step one: pop it in!

Yes, actual picture while eating
Kumquats give me a double chin

Oh god, so sour. It tasted like a lime covered in that sour stuff on Sour Patch Kids.  It's been 4 days since I ate it and my mouth is already getting tart just thinking about it.

The orange part is the SUPER sour part. Wait, it's ALL orange.....

So, I guess I figured out why jam and pie are what most people use them for.  LOTS of sugar.  "Well, I can solve this!" I said in a somewhat smug tone... "I'll just throw a dash of sugar on it to see if that balances out the tartness!!"  Well, I tried a "dash" on one......

Mmmm, healthy

It made them somewhat better, but not really.  In all seriousness, if it takes a mountain of sugar to eat the stupid things, I'm really not all that interested.  I figure between the running gels and the skittles, I probably get enough sugar to kill a small horse. So, the kumquats were somewhat of a bust.  Unless someone else has any other good recipes? If nothing else, I guess I could see if they're good in mac and cheese or spaghetti!


HalfCrazed Runner said...

Never had a Kumquat - now I don't think I ever will!

Emily H said...

1. Feed Kumquats to your son
2. Photograph his reaction
3. Post online and/or save these photos for future blackmail
4. Profit

Gracie said...

You got unripe kumquats. They grow all over here, and are delicious eaten peel and all. Just chomp them down. They are not sour at all when ripe. If you want to use them in a recipe, slice them thinly (with peel) over a salad with uncooked fennel leaves, goat cheese, and pistachios on butter lettuce.

Sue's Ramblings said...

Wait till you try durians! Go ahead...check them out in Google

Jennifer Lockrem said...

We used to pick and eat them straight off the trees, when I was younger. I do remember them being sour as he*l, but that was the adventure of it!! Candied kumquats are the only "recipe" I can recall. You know...if you didn't get enough sugar from the others.

Flaming June said...

My dad has always grown kumquats, and we'd eat them right off the tree. They get sweeter as they ripen, but they are never as sweet as an orange. I used to love them, but my kids just spit them out. One thing I do remember - even after they get sweeter, they still left a weird numbness to my mouth. Not sure what that was all about!
p.s. - I'd stay away from pomegranates. That's another fruit not worth the extreme effort to eat!

Jamoosh said...

This isn't Funny Photo Friday. I am I at the right blog?

Liza Krystal said...

There was really no excuse to not try new things. Really enjoyable to pick-up. gout in ankle

Summer N said...

In Chinese, you can boil it in 8oz water and just drink it.( add some sugar if you want) It's supposed to be a good remedy when you have cough.