Friday, August 31, 2012

Funny Foto Friday: In public vs. in private

I can admit it, there are quite a few things that I do differently when other people are around.  When alone I'll scratch what needs to be scratched, I'll eat over the sink, and I'll even put on pants on occasion!  I got to thinking about how certain things are acceptable while running that are not acceptable otherwise.  Things like:
  • Blowing snot out of your head with nothing to catch it but the dude running beside you
  • Peeing behind bushes, in people's yard, under bridges....anywhere really
  • Eating 100 calorie packets of sugar and calling it "fuel"
  • Farting. Period.

It's really no wonder why I love running so much!

Anyway, recently I ran across a picture that showed me exactly how social interactions essentially keep men from turning into full on cavemen.  Happy Friday!


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A Good Run is Only a Haircut Away


Seriously.  That is all that I can think to explain it.  I got a haircut this weekend and BAM – the two runs that followed were amazing.  Bird were chirping (I assume – headphones on), the sun was shining (actually, it was before dawn, but it was 90 degrees), and my head wasn’t a sweaty mopball.  In fact, I think I’m going to have all of the people I coach shave their hair Britney Spears style. Might make my job a teeny bit easier.


After a week of 69 “base” miles to get back into the high mileage groove, Tuesday was my return to speed.  Gone were the easy runs at 7:30 pace where I could high five the old lady dog walking club (not really) while singing along to Beyonce Bootylicious (ok, really on that one).  Monday, I ran 2 miles easy, 7 miles at 6:28 pace, and 1 mile cooldown.  It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t die either. Some days, that is all that it takes to be a successful run:  hit the paces and don’t die.  Oh right – and my head didn’t get hot.  Score one for the haircut.

This morning, I ran 14 “midweek long” miles.  Doing a run that long after a longer tempo run isn’t ever fun, but it is a great way to challenge your mind AND your legs.  Like the day before, the run started out a bit of a slog, but the miles clicked by faster and faster and I ended up with an overall pace of 7:33. I was struggling towards the end for sure but my head wasn’t hot and I was able to get through them!


Of course, I know that it wasn’t the haircut. (It was the horse steroids I have been taking. They make my coat soft and shiny.) The temps are still in the upper 80s but the humidity is lower and my legs are getting back used to miles.  But, sometimes all it really takes is some little thing to snap you out of a funk and get you back into the groove.  I was in a funk for sure – but I’ve ran 2 runs in a row that were great.  So, is my funk over? I’m not sure.  But, I’m sure willing to shave my chest to see if I get even faster! 

Why yes, I did think of this blog post on the drive home last night....

Friday, August 24, 2012

Funny Foto Friday: Run Faster & 5 min beer mile

Thanks everyone for your feedback on my argument with the cop.  Leave it to my buddy IronChad to actually do the leg work and research what the law says.  As is usually the case, I was wrong. Pedestrians, regardless of how schvelt they look while running shirtless (Can you believe that!?), must stop and press the "walk" button before crossing a street.  I guess I'm lucky I didn't get a ticket.  Although - cop would have had to catch me! (Which... I mean.... he would have... He had a car... I'm not superman)

Throughout running some 16 marathons, I've seen a lot of funny signs along the way.  In fact, I've actually created a few.  Some of the best are "worst parade ever" and "you're kicking ass-falt".  Anyway, not to be outdone, this guy sets the bar really high.... Or, really low, depending on your perspective.  Oh yes, I will be doing this some day.  Happy Friday!

I dunno.. The guy looks pretty built - I might slow down just to call his bluff

BONUS!!!  I recently was pointed to a video of Nick Symmonds on TMZ, American 5th place Olympic finisher in the 800m.  (Read: he is freaking fast)  The reason why the video was on TMZ and not FlowTrack?  Nick is doing the beer mile.

A beer mile is drinking a beer, running 400m, drinking another beer, 400m, beer, 400m, beer, 409m.  Yes, 4 beers, one mile.  He did it in 5:20.  Yes, he drank 4 beers and ran a mile in FIVE MIN TWENTY SECONDS.  (Goto the link above to watch the full video)


The worst part??  Dude is funny (if not a little cocky)

Attractive


And a freaking all American Olympian.

Dude, seriously.  You gotta slow down, you're making us all look bad.  Happy Friday!


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Arguing with cops gives me heart palpitations


The “no excuses” runner would say that initial signs that you’re going to have a bad run are a chicken or egg situation.  Usually nothing BAD happens, it is just the thought of having a bad run screws yourself out of a good one.  Either way, when I woke up to rain in the middle of the Phoenix desert, I knew that nothing good could come of today’s run.

I had originally planned to do 12 miles with 8 miles of 6:30 pace tempo. It would have been an intense tempo run for sure. It is one of those that at the end you either feel very accomplished....or you finish up the conversation that you’re having with your dead grandmother who is floating 4 feet off the ground in front of you.  Unfortunately, this morning one thing led to another because of some work I had to do before the run and a very firm deadline to get back by and I could only do 10.

Got a few leaks under the hood too!
The run started out fine.  The POURING rain had stopped completely, it was cool, and I was warming up quite nicely for the tempo miles. But, whenever I tried to speed up, my stomach rumbled. It’s a lot like being in a rental car that has taken one too many corners on two wheels – you punch the gas and the car feels like it is about to come apart.  In fact, it was exactly like that – only it was my insides that were tearing apart.  Well, I attempted to speed up a number of times and eventually found myself in the McDonalds bathroom losing some unneeded weight.  I really love that McDonalds.

It was during my pit stop in the bathroom that I decided to totally abandon the tempo and just slog through the miles.  I did a pretty good job of that (read: they sucked.....a lot) but was essentially getting through them.  That was, until the last stoplight before I go into my neighborhood.  The light had JUST turned green but the “crosswalk button” hadn’t been pushed so it was still showing the red “don’t walk” hand.  There were no turn lights on so the traffic was essentially free to go through the intersection – as well as the runners.  Or so I thought.

So, I start to cross into the crosswalk and a cop turning left about hits me! I raise my hands about chest high doing the international “What the HELL are you doing, buddy?” motion when he stopped and told me that “the sign says don’t walk”.  Since I’ve never been good with words, here is what I am talking about:

Of course, I used my likeness, George Clooney to represent me. It's like looking in the mirror.

While I was still on the road, I reminded the cop that the light was green and that it meant that I could cross.  Unfortunately, this provoked him into fully rolling down his passenger window and stopping.  Oppsies.  He then tells me that I needed to wait until the “walk” sign was lit to which I rudely snapped back at him kindly reminded him that pedestrians have the right of way.  We went back and forth a few other times, exchanging cookie recipes and telling each other that we smelled nice. It was lovely.  Unfortunately, I was already running late and he was starting to use that “I’m your parent and ‘BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SO’ is an acceptable answer” tone so I finally just said “FINE”, turned around, and smacked the “crosswalk button” a few times with an angry scowel on my face.

After having smacked the “crosswalk button” a few more times, I stood there looking pissed for a while.  I did eventually get running again and was quickly greeted by chest pains and heart palpitations.  That freaking cop was going to kill me – literally! I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure that he was using some sort of mind taser on my heart.  Unfortunately, I had to get home ASAP so I could only stop long enough to make sure that I still had feeling in my hands (I did) and that I wasn’t seeing spots (I wasn’t – at least not too many).

Okay seriously - am I in the wrong here?  I’ll admit that I jaywalk ALL the time when the light is red, not in cross walks, etc but I really think that I was in the right on this one.  Was I?

Of course, totally unrelated... On my todo list is to set up a full day “traffic school” because I got my picture taken going through a light that had turned red too fast.  This was my first ticket in 15 years!

 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Cat Call Follow up, Red Eyes, and Virtual Race Winners!

Get it? Cat call?  HILARIOUS!
Editors note: (Am I an editor? More of a blog monkey...) This was actually supposed to go up on Thursday but I was so busy with the Rock and Roll Providence Expo that I didn't have time to finish it.  Stay tuned tomorrow for my race report!

Morgan over at Caution: RedHead Running has a thing she calls Three Things Thursday. Never one to follow the herd, I'm hereby calling this post my Tri Turds Thursday I got busy as shit and left a 3/4 written blog post unfinished so I'm posting it on Monday. Or, IGBASALATQWBPUSIPIOM for short. Catchy!

Cat Calls (What is WITH people?)
I can honestly say that I'm pretty shocked at how often ladies (and the fellas - heyyyyy) get hooted and hollered at while running. (Is that just because I'm ugly and it never occurred to me?) I have to assume that the guys who do stuff like that have so much pent up testosterone because they are sexually deprived.  Either that or they are stupid enough to think that it gives them a chance with women.  Either way, those guys need to stop huffing the ax body spray and just do what everyone else does to meet women (like me) - hangs out at the door of Victoria's Secret asking if anyone wanted a second sizing opinion.  Classy.

Can guys have camel toe?
Red Eye Flights (What is WITH me?)
For those new to the bloggero, I live in Phoenix.  Its somewhere between the 6th circle of hell and Los Angeles (7th circle).  Although, I suppose I shouldn't say that - today the temps only got to 103.  Anyway, the race that I worked at and ran this weekend was ALL the way over in New England.  This meant that I had a 5 hour flight each way.  This also means that I did something that I've only done once before. Brushed my teeth before running.  I took a red eye flight.

The issue with taking a flight that left at 10pm and didn't land until 6:00pm the next morning?  I don't sleep on planes.  Like, at ALL. So, I would estimate that I got around 1.5 to 2 hours of sleep before standing on my feet for 2 days straight at an expo.  Not exactly a recipe for a magical PR. (it is the recipe for magical sleep deprived hallucinations) I might as well have had a bottle of wine the night before the race (spoiler alert - might have happened).  Oh, I tried all of the tips and tricks to get a good nights rest.  I made sure I was hydrated, I had a boozy drink, but not TOO much, I took like 3 Ambien (kidding!), but there was NO sleep.  So, in the future the extra night at a hotel is TOTALLY worth it.

Virtual Race Winners! (Well, I mean there really are no losers)
As I got busy, one of the things that fell off of my todo list was consolidating the literally 150+ race reports from the 3rd Annual Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K.  I really want to say that I'll get the full results post together but it will likely be a few more weeks until I'm able to do it.  BUT, the good thing about the internet is that it is essentially timeless. I mean, I can Google about anything and it pops right up!

The stories of people doing their first 5K, setting MASSIVE PRs, and yes - even the stories of people getting drunk the night before and totally forgetting to run are all inspiring in their own way.

So, without further blah blah blah, here are the winners of the prizes. An all female sweep!!  I guess the random number generator thingy doesn't like dudes.  (Which might be why I've yet to win a giveaway - doh!)  I'm going to do a first come, first served from the 6 people below.  Shoot me an email with which one you want and I'll get it sent out!

Rachel @ http://rachelreallife.blogspot.com/
Emily H @ http://observationbubble.blogspot.com/
Madison @ http://loveaspotoftea.blogspot.com/
Stephanie K @ (not sure if she has a blog :(
Gigi @ (Not sure if she has a blog either :(
Pam  http://www.momsrunthistown.com


Prize number one!!! A free pair of shoes from onlineshoes.com!  Running shoes? Yep! Granola cruncher shoes? Yep! Jellies? Yep! (Do people still wear those?)  I'm buying them myself with a coupon, so I'm going to restrict it to $100 bucks.  No Jimmy Choo here, thank you very much.  But, I'll ship them to Tasmania if you want me to (thank you Olympic ceremonies for reminding me of that place!)

Prize number two - SALT!  More specifically, deliciously flavored electrolytes in the form of a 4 pack of Nuun and a Nuun water bottle!  I actually don't drink Nuun while running, but do ALL the time afterwards.  Mmmm, taste the rainbow.



Prize number three - a Clean Bottle with iPhone "runner" attachment!  I did a review for it a while back and I LOVE it.  Seriously, I've put literally hundreds of miles on mine (and am sort of bummed that you're getting one and not me....this one might get "lost in the mail". Kidding!!  Sort of).


Prize number 4 - Rock Tape! Rocktape, Rock Sauce, Phast Legs. I've honestly never tried it, (sounds like I will - let the body hair shaving begin) but not only is it meant for injury prevention, but also recovery.  Sign me up!


Prize number 5 - 110% Compression sleeves or socks!  When I posted that I was giving a pair of these away on twitter people went BONKERS about how awesome they are.  That has to be good, right? BONKERS!


Finally, Prize number 6 - Infinit Napalm (A gel for your fuel belt for long runs and races.) Brilliant!





Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Running First - Cat Calls

Today, after running for more years than I would like to count, something happened that has never happened before.

I know what you are probably thinking: “Jee will-i-kers Adam!”  (Did I mention that, in my head all of my blog readers are in the 50s?) “What could possibly have happened that couldn’t have already happened before!?
  • Pee behind a bush?  Please, I do that a few times a month.
  • Prairie dog and have to duck walk home? That happens a handful of times a year.
  • Almost get hit by a car? Fortunately only REALLY happens about once a year.


Today, while running what was otherwise a normal 9 miler likely rocking out to something hip and cool like One Direction (totally kidding, I was listening to NPR – way more hip) I was cat called!  That’s right, someone actually hollered something at me and honked as they were driving by.

Now, I’ll admit that I didn’t exactly know what they were saying.  It could have been anything from “hey do you know the time” to “yeah baby, shake that skinny sexy flesh sack body!” but I like to think that whatever it was, it was essentially talking about them buying whatever I was selling.  Heyyyyyyyyy

On a serious note, I recently spoke with a female that I used to coach about this very topic.  She said that she hears cat calls while running ALL the time!! (Authors note: by her own admission she is no ‘barbie doll’ – her words not mine... Uhhh... I’m sure that she is plenty attractive and all cat calls were certainly warranted.... Uhhhh....  I’ll stop typing now.  ANYWAY. )  She doesn’t necessarily run in a particularly industrial or urban area.  In fact, it was just a normal suburb in AnyTown USA.

It really shocked me to hear that this actually happens.  I can’t help but wonder what is going through these guy’s minds.  To quote Jerry Seinfeld, what do they expect women to do?  Chase down the car they’re driving in and ask to get their number?

So, for the females (and the fellas who are as appealing to cars passing by as I am), have you ever been hollered at while running?  This can’t be a common occurrence can it?   Although, really... who could handle themselves around THIS?


Friday, August 10, 2012

Funny Foto Friday: McKayla is NOT Impressed

I had a great run this morning after taking the day off yesterday. 10 miles at a pace of 7:11 / mile. I was due for a good one.  The sucky thing about being a running coach is that I know when I'm missing the mark in my training and right now I'm missing hard core.  I'll get on track, but I've had a few sub par weeks in a row that will need to be quickly rectified.  FAST.

--------------------------------------------

The Olympics are HARD.  Being a full time athlete is not just a "job" but it is a lifestyle.  Day in and day out these men and women eat breath and sleep sport.  But, often times it isn't men and women but boys and girls - women's gymnastics especially.  With that, maybe comes a weee bit of immaturity.

McKayla Maroney was the shoe in favorite to win gold during the individual vault.  Unfortunately, she fell on the landing and ended up with silver.  She was NOT happy.  I mean really, who can blame her??  I pout around for days after I have a shitty race.  But, not only did McKayla have a dirty scowl shortly after the performance but during the medals ceremony as well.  Enter the internet. http://mckaylaisnotimpressed.tumblr.com/ Enjoy.  Happy Friday!



















Thursday, August 9, 2012

Thursday Mixings - Olympic Edition

Unfortunately, the Olympics are quickly coming to a close.  Soon I will no longer have a reason to park my butt on the couch for 5 hours a day claiming to be patriotic. "But seriously! I have to see if USA medals in water polo!" Eventually though, I will take my shirt off of the couch pillow that my son has started to hug and call "daddy". Eventually.

While NBC isn't showing Volleyball or Diving, (so, basically never) they are showing track and field.  If you're anything like me, you've noticed lots of dude naughty bits bouncing in slow motion that a lot of the athletes have been wearing yellow shoes.  Specifically, Nike spikes, racing flats, etc.  I asked on twitter what the deal was but leave it to Gizmoto (and my buddy Chad) to pull through with the reason: Nike made the athletes wear them. Essentially any Nike sponsored athlete will be wearing Nike shoes in bright bright green. Hooray capitalism?
Sweet! Velcro!


I'll admit it, when I'm watching running during the Olympics, I totally try to figure out how far / long I could keep up.  For example, the women's marathon started at a 5:40ish pace.  I probably have 4 miles at that pace in me.  For the women's 800, I likely could keep up for 300 or so meters at a 4:00ish pace....maybe. The men however are a completely different story.  For almost all distances I can barely keep up at all.  Which means to be an Olympian I either need to train like I've never trained before.....or grow a vagina.  At least then my junk wouldn't bounce in slow motion.
I couldn't keep up with Bolt for 10m


As I was complaining on twitter about how I am finally to the age that I could never compete at the Olympics, many people mentioned that there were lots of sports for people at my advancing age (31).  In fact, there is a horse rider from Japan who is 71. SEVENTY ONE!!  Hiroshi Hoketsu is the oldest participant in the London Olympics.  So, that is my new goal - to figure out whatever horse riding sport this guy is participating in, steal his supply of Ben Gay and his crossword book, and take the gold in the London 2096 Olympics!

Doesn't even look that old.  Hiroshi Hoketsu doesn't look old either.  Har har har



Finally, this has nothing to do with the Olympics, but my son figured out what headphones are the other day. I can only imagine he'll now turn into one of those skater kids who wears a stocking hat 24/7, wears velcro shoes, and even has headphones in while taking a shower (no he wont - at all).

Cars the movie soundtrack was playing


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Women's Olympic Marathon - Should Desi Have Ran?


First, keep the Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K Race reports coming!! I’ll admit, the 140 or so emails that are in my inbox right now are more overwhelming than a diabetic in a Duncan Donuts, but I’ll eventually get through them and post embarrassing pictures of people pooping their pants the winners of the sweet prizes.

So, in-between working with my boss out of town, running 6x a week, I still have a pretty healthy Olympic habit.  The Olympics are my drug, and I take them in each day with all of their shaved chest, spandex wearing, double backflip landing glory.  Glory to the Olympics, gold medals be thy name!! Wait, isn’t there a bad story about worshiping gold? Essentially, with all of the (delayed) Olympic coverage I’m getting WAY less sleep.  Who says you need 8 hours of sleep!? I get 2 hours and the only side effect is that I can’t seem to focus on I really like kittens sometimes. And baby duckies.  They’re just so fluffy!



This weekend was the Women’s Marathon.  The Americans were Kara Goucher (yay!), Shalane Flanagan (yay!) and Desi Davila (also yay!).  Kara and Shalane finished in 11th and 10th respectively which honestly was a bit below both of their expectations.  Shalane should have been top 5 and Kara top 10.  Desi however was a different story.

Desi has been battling a hip flexor injury.  She said that she had been having issues with it for a few weeks but was determined to start the Olympic Marathon.  During the race she made it 2.2 miles.

So, the question is – should Desi have dropped out and let the alternate, Amy Hastings, have a crack at finishing the race?  It’s a tough call for sure.

On the “yes she should have dropped” side:

  • It is basically Desi’s job to know her body. During the race, she ran for around 13 minutes.  The fact that she only lasted that long (granted, she stopped at the end of a convenient 2.2 mile loop) tells me that she knew that she wasn’t finishing that race when she started.
  • Amy is a 2:27 marathoner so certainly not “slow”
  • The reason to run the Olympics is to represent you and your country to the best of their abilities.  I’m not sure that Desi did that.


On the “no, she should have stayed in” side:

  • Desi earned the spot. She beat Amy in the trials fair and square.
  • While Amy is a fast runner, she would not be a medal contender.  Desi’s PR is 2:22 – faster than the gold medalist this year.  Desi is FAST.
  • Represented her country in the best way she could - the "I don't take no for an answer" that give Americans both a good and bad name.


I honestly think that she was well within her rights to start – she earned it.  But, I can certainly see both sides of the story...and would NOT have wanted to be in Amy Hasting’s room (she qualified in the 10,000m) when the marathon was ran!

What do you think?  Should she have ran knowing that she would not finish?  You can bet your fish and chips that if I qualified, I'd be on that starting line even if I had to strap some of those upside down question mark artificial legs to my body to finish!

 

Friday, August 3, 2012

Funny Foto Friday: Olympic Diver Faces

Getting this one out as fast as possible because I think it sort of speaks for itself.  I love slow motion.  Happy Friday!  (Originally from:  http://thefw.com/olympic-diving-funny-faces/  - Loads more slow motion hilarity there!)

Seriously, these all make them look like Aliens!  Not so cute and shaved now, are you divers!??!?!






Bonus video because not everyone actually watches videos on blogs...  Lochte throwing some dirt along Phelps way. HILARIOUS.


Bonus BONUS video... A little inspiration for the Freeze Your Thorns Off 5K.  Think what you want about Nike's questionable labor practices or endorsement deals with thug athletes, but they hire some damn good advertising firms.  Well, done Nike Nike's advertising firm. Well done.

Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K Bib!

Well the day has arrived!  Naked dance party at my house.  Time to sweat ‘em if you’ve got ‘em – the 3rd annual Sweat Your Thorns Off 5k! If you're not entered, go here! As a reminder, all that you have to do is run 5K (3.1 miles / 5000m if you’re a track nut) either stand alone as a “race” (preferred) or as part of a longer run.  Easy!!  If you want to submit a race report, feel free to do so here and I’ll consolidate them over the next few days (in the past there have been 150+ so it takes a WHILE – bear with me!)  Between you and me, if you run Saturday or Sunday it’ll likely count as I won’t get the results summary done by Tuesday at the earliest.

There are a few things that any race needs: Free watered down Gatorade, girls in booty shorts, and race bibs (I'm sure that there are other things, but those are the only ones that pop out in my head).  Well, I'm looking at you the participants for one of those three, but I figured that it was the least I could do to supply one of the others.  Here is a bib that you can download, customize and print for your run.  Have fun with it!  Afterall, running IS supposed to be fun.



In case you'd forgotten WHY you were running so hard and fast in the dead of summer (northerners) or the dead of winter (south paws), here is a reminder of the sweet sweet giveaways!


Prize number one!!! A free pair of shoes from onlineshoes.com!  Running shoes? Yep! Granola cruncher shoes? Yep! Jellies? Yep! (Do people still wear those?)  I'm buying them myself with a coupon, so I'm going to restrict it to $100 bucks.  No Jimmy Choo here, thank you very much.  But, I'll ship them to Tasmania if you want me to (thank you Olympic ceremonies for reminding me of that place!)

Prize number two - SALT!  More specifically, deliciously flavored electrolytes in the form of a 4 pack of Nuun and a Nuun water bottle!  I actually don't drink Nuun while running, but do ALL the time afterwards.  Mmmm, taste the rainbow.



Prize number three - a Clean Bottle with iPhone "runner" attachment!  I did a review for it a while back and I LOVE it.  Seriously, I've put literally hundreds of miles on mine (and am sort of bummed that you're getting one and not me....this one might get "lost in the mail". Kidding!!  Sort of).


Prize number 4 - Rock Tape! Rocktape, Rock Sauce, Phast Legs. I've honestly never tried it, (sounds like I will - let the body hair shaving begin) but not only is it meant for injury prevention, but also recovery.  Sign me up!


Prize number 5 - 110% Compression sleeves or socks!  When I posted that I was giving a pair of these away on twitter people went BONKERS about how awesome they are.  That has to be good, right? BONKERS!


Finally, Prize number 6 - Infinit Napalm (A gel for your fuel belt for long runs and races.) Brilliant!


So seriously, if you're wanting in on a chance for some of the loot - go sign up!  You don't have to run to have a shot at the prizes.....but come on.... running is fun!