Friday, April 29, 2011

Funny Foto Friday: My Neighbors Underwear

I seriously couldn't make this up if I tried....

My next door neighbors are VERY nice.  In fact, they are the best kind of neighbors.  They are pretty quiet but are friendly - to the point that they'll even chat with me while I'm doing yard work without a shirt on.  I haven't ever borrowed any sugar from them, but after what I found a few days ago, I am not sure that I would want to......

One day after work I was hanging out in the back yard and I noticed something strange between the wall that I share with my neighbor and my pool.   Of course, not one to leave random white blobs alone in my back yard, I went in to investigate.



It was only that I got on top of it that I discovered the horrible horrible truth.  My neighbors underwear were in my yard.  To my extreme disappointment, they weren't something lacy and fun, they were something tighty-whitey and had a drawstring(!?!?!)

As you can imagine, I had two horrible options:
1. Put on a radiation suit and toss them back over the wall
1. Pick them up and throw them away
2. Let them lay there and see if an underwear tree grew throughout the summer

So, of course I picked them up.  But, by god I didn't like it.  What I think MIGHT have happened is that our neighbor's 3 year old son might have snagged them off of the wall and threw them over while mom and dad weren't watching.  (Honestly, what I like to think happened is that they were watching him in horror as he grabbed them, ran towards our wall, and tossed them over..... who would want to make THAT door-bell ring?  "Umm, hi Adam, Can I come get my underwear out of your lawn?")


Finally, after all of the trauma of picking up the "article", my wife decided to take a few self portraits of herself and my son......to which I quickly decided to Photo Bomb. :)  Happy Friday!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Intervals With Adam

If you say it fast enough, it sounds like it rhymes! Here are some of the things that have been rattling around in my head lately….

I’m running a marathon this weekend. Yeah, who knew!? On Sunday I’ll be running the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. I’m only going to be in town for a day, but if you are running let me know if you want to get together before at the start. I promise I won’t talk much about poop.  Much.


Honestly I haven’t been talking it up a lot on my blog, on twitter, to my friends, in my sleep, etc because I’m feeling a bit undertrained. But, just like speed, wiener size, height, and intelligence, feeling “trained” enough to run a marathon is relative. I’ll get to my goals in a preview post this weekend, but I know that I can pretty easily run a 3:25 marathon, but my spring 2011 goal of 3:15 is not happening. Cest La Vie. To be clear, marathons are nothing to take lightly (lest you poop your pants), but I’m going to try to be as relaxed as I can.

Tried linking to a "better" picture but it was blocked at work.....


I tweeted about this earlier, but I feel like I need to admit it here too. I think I am one of the few Americans that actually doesn’t mind hearing about the Royal Wedding. For one, Kate is hot If I were a girl I’m sure that I would be interested in the whole princess fairytale thing and being a guy I’m interested in how a slightly goofy looking prince can land a pretty hot wife. It is sure better than all of the other crap that has been in the news lately. I swear to god, if I have to hear about Libya one more time I’m going to shoot myself in the face. If anything, why can’t we hear how our boys/girls in Iraq/Afgan are doing?


Finally, speaking of the news, myself and a few other blogger buddies were interviewed for an article in the Phoenix paper about a local 5K we all ran last year – the Tempe Arbor Day 5K. I didn’t have a very good race, but overall I really did have a good time. For that matter, afterwards RunningLaur and I got one or 8 mini beers…….and I might have humped a tree. The tree loved it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Its Hot in Phoenix During the Summer

People in Phoenix are funny. Or, for that matter, people in general are funny. Every year no matter what the season the fact that the temperature changes seems to take some by surprise. What??? You mean to tell me that I can’t wear shorts and flip flops in January!?***” Let’s be honest – I’m no exception what so ever. Things that have been happening for years seem to throw me into a shame spiral. I walk around in a jet-lag daze around daylight savings and I act surprised the few days before my wife’s birthday.

Case in point: Today in Phoenix it was 90F degrees. To prove that I am “cultured” and include our neighbors to the north ……. south ……. east ……. west ……. everywhere else ……. that is 32C. So, pretty warm. We’ve actually already hit 100 degrees (a month ago!) and it is regularly not getting much lower than 65 or so at night. It is hot, but not balls hot (which is somewhere between the temperature of sweaty palms and swamp ass).


In fact, as I was panting the other day after a run (today was a tempo with 7 miles total and 5 miles at an average of 6:35 pace) I noticed that my free paper had arrived and had an article about running on the front. As I flipped through it, the article said how Phoenix residents were starting to escape the heat by running on treadmills and indoor tracks. They interviewed a few people who were flabbergasted by the thought that it was going to be HOT out. As I was reading it, I couldn’t help but say “well…….duh”?

I mean, I’m as sensitive as the next guy (hellooo, I watch Bravo TV), but I can’t help but think that this isn’t really news? Reporting that it is hot in Phoenix is sort of like saying that “Charlie Sheen is going to do something that your kids shouldn’t also do. Am I completely out of line here? Or, is my blood sugar just low?

***False. You can – college kids do it all the time. Drunk people too.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Funny Foto Friday: Peeping Tom Gets Sassy

Three updates today:

First, the winner of Marshall Ulrich’s book “Running on Empty” is: Krystal @ My Life of Travels and Adventures! Shoot me an email theboringrunner (at) gmail.com and I’ll get you all set up. Fortunately, no toenail removal is required to win the contest – THIS time.

Second, an update on my running. I feel like I have to confess when I bail out of a run. (Forgive me readers, for I have sinned) I had planned on doing 3 mile repeats this morning at 6:00/pace. I was only able to manage 2 of them at 6:15 pace. I’m in a stepback week, so I was ok with cutting the run a BIT short, but am wrestling in my head trying to figure out Why oh why does Rebecca Black have 100 million views? why I am having so much trouble this week. Either way, this weekend I’m going to drown my sorrows in as many Easter Peeps that I can fit into my mouth at one time and start next week a new.

Finally, this week’s Funny Foto Friday is a doozy. It has a few swears in it, so don’t read it out loud while driving to/from work or taking the kiddos to soccer practice (for that matter, feel free to pull over whenever you are reading my blog……well, at least slow down). Happy Friday!



Thursday, April 21, 2011

Night Running - Through Pot Smoke

Luckily, this week is a stepback week for me – because I’ve had a series of unfortunate events that would make the movie “The Hangover” seem like a series of well thought plans. Or, maybe I just had crappy runs on Tuesday and Wednesday and I have a flair for the dramatic.

It all started on Tuesday morning. I got ready to run and gave myself the standard 5 minute intermission to see if I needed to goto my happy place “use the facilities” before I ran. No rumble from down under was felt, so I proceeded to lace up and head out on my 7 mile tempo run. For those of you new to the blog** know that I like to do my tempo runs hard and fast***. Probably too fast, actually. Either way, the effort level would be such that if I did have to go to the bathroom, I wouldn’t be able to hold it in anymore than Charlie Sheen can hold in his incoherent ramblings. Imagine my surprise just as I was starting to get ready for my first tempo mile when I felt a VERY sudden gurgle. I immediately powered down the engines and walked back home - very slowly - and then immediately showered in bleach. The run would have to completed that night.

1.68 miles, 11:09 pace (7:51 first mile, 16:00 second mile)

When I run in the morning through my neighborhood, I’m used to running through a few normal, everyday smells. You have the house that always seems to be doing laundry, the Taco Bell that makes me gag because it always smells like a mixture of bean burrito and ass eggs, and the smell of sweet sweet car exhaust. Running last night however? Pot Smoke You see, someone at sometime (stoned college kids) decided that 4:20 would be a good time to smoke pot, which then translated into April 20th (4/20) being pot smoker day all day long. Lovely. Little did I know that on my run, after a huge dinner of spaghetti, I would be running through my own suburban Jamaica. While Snoop Dog would not approve and I am pretty sure that Bob Marley would have tried to trip me, I just about left a little spaghetti surprise on the sidewalk for my presumably glaucoma suffering neighbors. Not a tempo run, but a decent steady state run.

5 miles, 7:35 pace

With Tuesday only a pot cloud of a memory, today (Wednesday) I was positive that I was going to be able to power through only having ran 7 hours before. The first miles were ROUGH, a lot rougher than they should have been. I stopped no fewer than 4 times during (stoplight, untied shoe, wait for bowels to un-liquefy, another stoplight) but I got them done. Goal was a 7 mile marathon pace run, and I managed 6 miles at 7:18 pace. After Tuesday’s debacle, I’ll take it.

**And are just skimming this to see if you won the book in the previous post (Check back tomorrow)
***I know, I know, that is what she said :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Running on Empty Review & Giveaway!

When I have some downtime, things I read usually fit into a few general categories:

  • The back of the shampoo bottle or whatever else is within reaching distance of the toilet (because I forgot my phone)
  • Blogs on my phone
  • The free local paper that is mysteriously delivered to my neighbor’s driveway my driveway every Thursday and Friday
  • Books about running, running training, or other people who have done crazy things while running


When Marshall Ulrich’s publicist said that she was coordinating a virtual book tour for Marshall’s new book Running on Empty I was all in. If you’ve never heard of him, Marshall is an extreme ultra marathoner who has not only completed 122 ultra marathons averaging over 100 miles each but also completed a 586-mile 'Badwater Quad,' covering the 135 mile death valley Badwater course FOUR times (twice up and back). Oh, and did I mention that he is 60 years old? Yeah, he’s hard core. So hard core that he had his toenails removed in order to avoid chronic problems he experienced due to the extreme number of miles he was racing and training. Crazy.Hard.Core.

In his book, “Running on Empty” Marshall chronicles his 3000 mile journey across the US – from California to New York – while he was 57 years old! Do you want to know what I plan on doing when I am 57 years old? I’ll tell you, absolutely nothing. But I digress….. As I read the book, I was honestly surprised at how much of a page turner it was. When I woke up in the morning, it was one of the first things that I thought about doing.

In front of my wife’s massive collection of kids books, getting my read on
In her robe, because that is how I roll on the weekends


Sitting in my easy chair, all that I needed was a pipe


Honestly, I half expected the book to be a day by day running log about what he was feeling (tired), where he ran (east), and what he saw (roadkill). Instead, what I read was almost a memoir on his life where he dives into failed marriages, where he gets is immeasurable drive, and why he does some of the amazing things he does. It was very interesting to read the many back stories on the planning that is required, the politics of pulling off such feats, and how he leaned on the ones that he truly loved.

Specifically, I loved how he spoke of the trials and tribulations of his crew. While always supportive, I found it interesting how he didn’t always feel like listening to them – but knew deep down that it was the right thing to do. I think that we all feel that way on occasion – I know that I certainly do. I sometimes need to be told something three or four times before it finally “sinks in”. It was really good to hear that I wasn’t the only one.

Finally, possibly one of the best parts was that Marshall completely understood his audience and provided all of the dirty details of his 3000 mile run (in appendix format). How many shoes, injuries, calories, etc. For a numbers guy like me, it was the icing on the cake.

Since you’ve read this far down and had your eyes burned by that picture of me in the robe, the publisher has made available a second copy to give away to one of YOU! No Marshall Ulrich type feats here, just 5 seconds of your time! Just follow my blog and leave me a comment saying that you do.

Received the book for free (and so can you! Why are you reading this down here?? enter enter enter!!), but wasn't asked for a positive review

Monday, April 18, 2011

McMillan Running Calculator - Boston Marathon Edition

My new mantra
If you are not aware or could give a flip, today was the running of the Boston marathon. First, congrats to each of the runners who qualified to run - and even those who didn't qualify and are running based on a provisional entry. Like the kids say "I'm no hater", if you raised money to be there or even if you just ‘knew someone’ more power to you. Don’t hate the player (runner), hate the game (race).  Saying that made me feel OLD.

As my inbox was exploding with runner tracking announcements and twitter was orgasming over the close race, I couldn’t help but be drawn into the hype of running’s equivalent of the Masters in golf or the Triple Crown in horse racing. Quite frankly, I couldn't help but feel jealous.  It isn’t quite the same as the World Cup or the Superbowl, but it is still a pretty big deal. That is, if you are into that sort of thing….. I realize that there are people who could care less about the Boston Marathon. I’ve found that people seem to fall into a few categories:

  • Boston is just another 26.2, nothing more, nothing less
  • Patriots day? What the hell kind of fake holiday is that?
  • I would rather die than not run the Boston Marathon (What I like to call the http://bqordie.blogspot.com/ effect)
  • I only run if a cougar is chasing me to a Neiman Marcus sale


Unfortunately, I belong to the group that longs to run Boston with every slow twitch muscle fiber in my body. I would love nothing more than to break my germ-phobia induced rule against slapping people’s hands along the course and slap me some Wellesley college girl butt hand. I would love to feel the excitement of knowing that I was amongst the Secretariats and Tiger Woods of the running world. God damn it, I want my ugly ass Boston jacket. (Seriously, these things are hideous - and I want one)


But why don’t I just qualify and get it over with then!? Goooooood question.

If I am actually being true to myself, there are many reasons why I haven’t yet qualified for Boston. In fact, according to the McMillan Running Calculator I am severely under performing at the marathon distance. The McMillan Running Calculator takes a previous race time and spits out estimated times for most other race distances – AND also includes training paces that you should run. So, plugging in my current 5K PR of 18:50, I get a 3:03 marathon. Oyy. I am 100% CERTAIN if I tried to run that fast that far the over/under on me crapping my pants would be 17 miles.

When I shake my magic 8 ball (the source for all of life’s answers) and ask does Suzy “LIKE” me like me what I am doing wrong, it comes up with the following:

  • Lack of consistency in long runs
  • Lack of overall volume of miles
  • Not enough horse steroids
  • Too few animal sacrifices
Easy peasy: This summer, I will run more miles and work to build focus and concentration during my long runs.  No more coasting by on 35 miles per week like I have in the past:


It is time to put on my big-boy britches and play game with the big boys.  This is going to mean 65+ miles per week, progression long runs, and likely more than a few mid-run cheek clenching bathroom breaks than I would like to admit.  So, while last summer was the summer of speed - this summer is the summer of Boston. The summer where I DO put in the miles and the time to finally reach my potential.  What are YOUR race plans this summer?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Pat Tillman 4.2 Mile Race Report!

People who made the ultimate sacrifice in the line of duty are often thought of as heroic.  Not only for their actions, but also for what might have been.  Lincoln and JFK are two great examples - Pat Tillman is another.

This past weekend, my wife and I walked the Pat Tillman 4.2 memorial run. This was actually our second year participating.  It is a 4.2 mile race commemorating the life of Pat Tillman who turned down a $3+ million NFL contract to serve his country in the Army. He was subsequently killed by friendly fire while serving overseas - which regrettably the govt tried to cover up (but I digress). 4.2 miles represents Pat's 42 Arizona State Univ jersey number and the race finishes on the 42 yard line of Arizona State's football stadium.

Billed as the single largest running event in Arizona, the Pat Tillman race offered numerous opportunities to 'accidentally' get to 2nd base offered large crowds, a POST race expo (with free Jamba Juice!), and 30 corals to keep everything organized.  Unfortunately, this meant that it took us nearly 40 minutes to the starting line.  Bummer. Fortunately though, this year I didn't have to go pee while waiting in the corals - and therefore didn't pee behind a dumpster along the course......so no risk of indecent exposure!

I felt like a finisher before I even saw this!

One of the cool/interesting things about a race this large are all of the people it brings out.  While there were 28,000 people who were signed up for the race, I'd guess that easily 1/3 of them were walkers - possibly more.  That means that while on the light rail and indeed during the race there were numerous people wearing jeans (even though it was 65 degrees) and I saw the entire gambit of footwear. While I didn't see anyone with a blow-out like last year, converse All-Stars, flip flops, white Velcro orthopedics, and Vans skater shoes were a-plenty as we walked the 4.2 miles.


Like last year, we saw quite a few armed forces in full gear both running and walking the race.  There was a Marine corps group that was running in formation and a number of Army men/women walking with full 50 pound packs.

Flip flops and army boots, this race had ALL footwear

The race overall was really fun - albeit crowded.  We threw in a few patches of jogging, but eventually gave up because the course was too narrow (only 1 road lane wide!?)  and there were too many groups walking 15 wide.

Coming onto the field.  I really felt like a football player
Until I tried to tackle a guy and he punched me in the face

Because I had forgotten my Garmin AND my phone, the finish of the race was a bit anti-climatic.  I couldn't text or call any of the local Phoenix blogger crew and really didn't know my finishing time.  So, after we crossed the finish line, my wife and I sort of looked at each other and said "whelp, do you want to go home?".  I insisted that we get a quick picture to prove that I actually do have people willing to spend time with me we actually did complete the race.

Chicken legs? Check.

Fortunately, with the delays getting to the starting line and actually running the race, my son was a little trooper all the way home - including on public transportation.


While a bit expensive at 50 bucks, the Pat Tillman run has become almost a Phoenix tradition - so I think I'll be doing it for many years to come.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Funny Foto Friday: Shopping Bitch

This morning I headed to the track for my last "short" run of the week.  It was the same middle school dirt track that I ran my timed mile on (warning, that link is....graphic), however for the first time EVER (not including when my little sister ran with me) someone else was there circling the track!  I'm not exactly sure of proper track etiquette, so I made sure to cut him off whenever I lapped him, flexed my quad muscles in his general direction at every opportunity, and might have even tried to trip him Jets assistant coach style as he ran by.  Sharing the track is supposed to involve lots of testosterone fueled rage, right?

Anywhoo, I did 8x400 at an average pace of 5:42.  Now on to the pictures - and video!

Buddy, we've all been there.  Here's to you for owning it like a man.  Happy Friday!


And finally, a 100% work safe video that I can nearly promise will make you laugh out loud.  An improv comedy look at what we are thinking about when we run marathons.  Hilarius. Ian @ Half-Fast.org posted it and I decided that I had to steal it and repost it.  It is the American way.



Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Who needs sleep?

Also, causes see-through skin
Turns out, me. Who knew!? When you think about it, sleep is a pretty interesting phenomenon. It is sort of like how Kim Kardashian is famous.  No one knows WHY it happens, it just does. So, each day, if our bodies don’t turn off for a period of approximately 8 hours a day, all sorts of interesting things occur:
Of course, just like everyone knows, when we sleep our bodies don’t actually turn off. In fact, during certain times, our brain goes completely bonkers. It throws out dreams and memories that not only are helping Leonardo DiCaprio limp along in his career but also do the fortunate service to put me in such awkward situations as being the towel boy for the lingerie football team and eating an entire swimming pool full of pudding (don’t ask).

Now, I know what you are thinking how do you keep your skin so smooth and moist!? what does this have to do with running?! First, loofah. Last night I had a conference call for work with India that went well past my bedtime. I’m not one of those people who talks a lot about work even in real life, so I won’t rehash it here. But, let it suffice to say that I normally get 7.5 hours of sleep and I had 3 fingers of whiskey on rocks 2 nights ago and woke up feeling much better than I woke up this morning after only sleeping for 5 hours.  I need my beauty sleep.
The real secret to soft skin

But, I had 7 miles of tempo running on the schedule. Let me tell you, those were the hardest tempo miles in a VERY long time. Goal pace was around 6:40. I managed 2 at that speed, the remainder were somewhere around 7:00 and at some point I just gave up and turned it into a marathon pace run. I hate it when I have to bail out on a run – and it reminded me that sleep is oh so very important. But, unfortunately, so is paying bills – and I guess that is what I was doing up so late.  If only I could figure out a way to convert pudding dreams to money....
Picture might have been dramatized, and apparently uggo-fied, to show sleepiness


How many hours of sleep do you get? Have you ever seen it directly effect your running, mood, mortality status, leprechauns?



Had this in my head the entire time I was writing this - Holla holla holla

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Good intentions

Good intentions. Sometimes good intentions provide a gold star on the day, reward for a job well done. Other times? Mud butt.

I had good intentions when I started my long run this weekend. I really did. First, while still in my sleep I was going to sew a large “S” on my chest superman style. (Right next to my tattoo of Charlie Sheen.) Having previously set my alarm for 3:55am (!!!) I was planning on getting up, running 14 miles, getting back and showered before my son woke up. My wife might as well have handed me the father of the year mug for me to drink my hot cup of modesty**. It was going to be glorious. I should have expected something was amiss when I woke up at 3:55 and the superman cape that I had tied around my neck had cut the oxygen supply to my brain, turning my head blue like a smurf.

I got up, put my contacts in, and felt the all too familiar rumble in my stomach. I knew where that was going. One thing lead to another and my normal 25 minute prep time somehow turned into 45 with a short 10 minute break time on the toilet.

The run itself went fine, however I could tell that I didn’t have quite as much get up and go as I thought that I should. I’ve been actively working to increase my miles (40 miles last week) and it seems like the added distance was starting to take its toll. What would have ideally been a 7:45 pace run was mostly a 8:00 pace run. It was one of those where I didn’t want to push the pace so I settled at whatever felt comfortable, but comfortable was slow(er) than I wanted. But then something happened….

Around 10 miles, I felt the all too familiar rumblings of something trying to bust out of my innards. My thoughts immediately went to my lovely family, sleeping soundly awaiting my arrival. So, I pushed on. I grunted and groaned and was able to get all the way through 13 miles. The issue? I was still a mile away from home. Bummer. I stopped and tried to walk it off with no success. The result: Mud Butt.

Mud Butt [muhd][buht] –noun: The state of defecation limbo whereas a bowl movement has progressed past the stage of turtle-heading but no skid marks are created.

So, that was fun. Fortunately, this ain’t my first rodeo, and I have an escape hatch to cut a solid half mile off of my normal run route. Let’s just say that I used the escape hatch this weekend. Once I got home, I received the news that my son had actually already been awake and had fallen asleep again. My efforts were for naught!!!

But, when I came home, I got to hang out with my son (and take a nap in the chair while he squirmed all over me) and that made it worth it. Probably.  Finally, lots of you have requested pictures of the little man, so here you go!

Hanging out on the floor

With mom and dad at his baptism

4 months!


If you’re still reading this, first does your mom know? thank you. Second, can I get some props for combining the term mud butt with pictures of my son? Just like my tattoo of Charlie Sheen would say. WINNING!!

**Tastes like a combination of ginger and failure

Friday, April 8, 2011

Funny Foto Friday: New Motivationals

This morning I had a great mile repeat workout.  I ran 3 mile intervals at 6:03, 6:03, and 6:05. I rested a bit too long inbetween each (800m jog and 30 second breather) so the results are skewed a bit - but those are results I could get used to seeing.

I could go on, but that isn't why you are here.  You're here for the pictures.  No theme this week, only hilarity.  Happy Friday!!

I wonder what H&R Block thinks of this one?

For some reason, I could totally see myself doing something like this.  

I think posting this one makes up for all of the pictures of girls in bikinis


Seriously, either the artist is my new best friend, or is COMPLETELY clueless
Either way, I love it

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fueling Missteps

I have a confession. I’ve been a bit lazy on my fueling while I run. This morning during my 9 mile marathon pace run, in between thoughts about what Justin Bieber’s voice will sound like once he hits puberty and how I would totally wear man-diapers if I was trying to Boston Qualify, I was thinking about how I really don’t eat gels much anymore. (Side note, run was incredible. 9 miles at 7:20 pace – which is 8.25 miles per hour. I think I’m finally hitting a good groove after all of my shit-show runs over the last two weeks)

I ran out of gels a few weeks back and haven’t really thought about buying more. I’ll just mix some super strong Gatorade and figure that ‘carbs is carbs’ and sweat out whatever miles that I had on the schedule. My reasoning? I haven’t died yet so it must be fine. For that matter, that reasoning works well for all sorts of situations. Eating raw chicken, using a public pay phone, using port o’ pots at races…..you get the idea.

Here is what I should be doing:

  • Carrying water on runs longer than 20 minutes
  • Helping old ladies across the street
  • Carrying an electrolyte drink on runs longer than 45 minutes
  • Eating gels every 45 minutes (6 miles or so) on runs longer than 10 miles


Here is what I am actually doing:

  • NO water or anything on any runs shorter than 7 miles
  • Stealing old lady’s purses for delicious hard candy
  • One bottle of Gatorade for runs between 7 miles and 14 miles
  • Gels every 7 or so miles for runs longer than 15 miles


I was reminded of this after I got back from a run at 5:50am and went for one of my wife’s scotcharoos as a ‘recovery meal’. Just like the Bill Cosby comedy bit about letting his kids eat Chocolate Cake for breakfast, the list of ingredients went through my head and all seemed to be essentially a how-to guide to recovery:

  • Karo Syrup: Basically carbs wrapped in clear liquid gold
  • Rice Crispies: More carbs, like a poppin’ party in your mouth
  • Leprechaun Tears: Aids in carb absorption
  • Peanut Butter: Protein and fat to not only heal my muscles but soothe my soul
  • Ground up Unicorn horn: Aids in fertility
  • Butter: I’m pretty sure 50% of powerbars are butter anyway


So, as you can see, I was doing my body a favor by chowing down on some homemade recovery. To be clear, I’m not going to get all Becky Home-makey and start making my own gels, but I do think that I’m going to continue to see what other normal food options are out there for fuel. Well, that and I’m going to buy some gels. I really need to get back to eating them every 6 miles or so on my runs.  All of those crappy runs over the past two weeks can't be 100% coincidence.

How about everyone else? Have you been fueling like you are supposed to be?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Race Report: Move your PHI’t 5K

Surprise! I am alive! Not only am I not dead in a ditch somewhere, debilitated by some combination of cheep beer and HGH***, but I’m actually running like Tom Cruise out of a Baptist revival. Crazy crazy Tom Cruise. I’ve finally flushed the stupid cipro out of my system and am starting to feel back to normal. So, what do people do when they no longer have really strong antibiotics in their system anymore!?! they certainly don’t do Paris Hilton They race!!

This weekend my wife and I ran/walk the Move your PHI’t 5K. I suppose the best thing about having not got around to updating my race side bar is that I can surprise even myself when I end up racing. Last week my wife saw a few road closed signs at a park in our neighborhood and peaked our interest in finding out what races were going on that weekend. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was involved in an elaborate pyramid scheme selling timeshares we were lining up to the start!

Now, if you are like me, you’re still trying to pronounce “PHI’t”. Well, it is pronounced “feet” and the reason that it is spelled strange was because this was actually a 5K to be used as a fundraiser for a local business sorority (Their letters were PHI). Here is a representative sampling of who was running:

  • One part booty short sorority girls
  • One part running families
  • One part normal runners


This picture was of the lake, promise:


After we had strapped my little man into his jogging stroller (at which point he quickly fell asleep) We headed over to the start:

It was a pretty low key race, which is just fine by me. While I was getting ready to run (stretching, warming up****, etc) I was approached by fellow Phoenix runner and blog fan Jennifer! She was super nice and even humored me by taking a picture. Jennifer said that she has a training log blog that I’d love to link to – email me Jennifer! (Upper right hand corner) Unfortunately, I googled “Jennifer Blog” but all that came up was 10,000 blogs written by fans of Jennifer Love Hewitt.  A guy can only kill a few hours there before going bonkers:


Before I knew it, everyone continued to mill around, the music continued to play, but the runners on the starting line all started to run across. OH! We must have started!!! The course was a chip timed, double loop race with a pretty good sized grass hill just before the start/finish. While the hill was in a strange location it did provide spectators good views of the runners as they finished the race.

Race was on mostly park "trails"
My plan was simple: hang out with my wife for 45 minutes or so, running when she ran, walking when she walked, and cleaning up any puke that my son might just so happen to spit out. Mission accomplished on all fronts. My wife wanted to use the race as a baseline fitness measurement as we are both thinking about signing up for a summer series of 5Ks.

Overall, it was a fun morning. I was able to meet up with a fellow blogger, I was able to support a sorority’s efforts to fight heart disease*****, and I was able to run home without my shirt on because it was so warm. And that, is what I call a successful race day!



***Wait, is that the stuff that shrinks your ‘nads? No, not Bud Light, the HGH stuff?
****NOT looking at sorority girls because I know that is what you were thinking
*****Or something, (probably to buy beer and condoms)