Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Bad Runs are like Farts.....


.....Everyone has them, but no one likes to admit them.

With 4 weeks left before my next “major” marathon, Rock and Roll Arizona (as if there were “minor” ones), both miles and ego fragility are at all time highs.  Each run is hyper analyzed with great detail.  For a numbers based guy like me, it is all about miles per week, pace per mile, and how hard of an effort it takes to actually hit each of the above.  Unfortunately, with a work schedule that is a little more hectic than one of those wedding dress sales and the holidays that bring lots of “joy”, last week’s running was NOT one that I would like to remember.**

There are really two runs last week that result in the big fat FAIL stamp for the week.

First, there was the day I realized I had gone soft.***
Tuesday is always mid-week sort of long run day.  I was scheduled to run 15 miles.  Nothing fancy, just get out the door and put foot to ass ground.  However, when my alarm went off at 4:15 and I snoozed once or maybe twice I was greeted by this:



Well, not ACTUALLY that, but there was water coming out of the sky!  Something more like this:

As I look at this picture, is it even raining?  God I'm a wuss


You see, it rains in Phoenix less than 10 times per year.  This just happened to be one of those times.  When I lived in Kansas City a short 3 years ago, I would have shrugged off the sprinkles as an annoyance, laughed at all of the pansies running to their treadmills, and went out for my run.  But not last week.  I made the decision that it must have been the running gods way of telling me that I wasn’t supposed to run that day and that I should push back my entire running schedule by a day.  Which of course meant that I had to put up with the reverse walk of shame – my clothes sitting out waiting for me to put them on.

Just like a walk of shame, these clothes just sat there judging me all day long


Which, I did push the run to the next day, but it was shortened to 12 miles because I ran out of time because work is annoying.

Next, there was the 20 miler turned 12 miler turned “code brown”****.
On Sunday, I had 20 miles with 14 miles at marathon pace scheduled.  Make no mistake, this is a TOUGH run.  I always somewhat dread that workout.  You end up putting forth a lot of the effort of a marathon but get none of the rewards (medal, mylar blanket, slipping on used water cups, stale bananas).  But, it is one of the best predictors of marathon fitness that I know.

The run started off slow – far too slow.  My stomach had been a bit off all weekend, but I tried to put it out of my mind.  I slogged through 4 miles at a pace that was around 30 seconds off-pace and when I tried to pick it up to marathon pace my guts hit the eject button. Literally.  After a 10 minute quick bathroom break during which unspeakable acts were performed, I decided that I did not want to get any further from home so I easy-ran a total of 12 miles. FAIL.

The combination of those two sucky runs really had me in a bad place last week.  So, this week I decided to call a mulligan on the entire last week and try again this week.  So far I'm not doing to bad.  I still had bathroom issues today during my 15 miler, however today instead of making me feel worse, dropping the pounds made me feel lighter, faster, and more fit!  I think a mulligan was exactly what I needed - hopefully.  Truth is, I don't have the time before the race to find out!


**Bring on the holiday booze!
***I know, I know…..
****Code brown is sort of like a blue light special at K-Mart.  Well, at least it smells like a K-Mart

13 comments:

Chicken said...

Is it sad that you mention Code Brown and all these great memories come flooding back?

I've been sick, so your 12 miles are amazing in my book, as are my farts!

Heather @ Just a Colorado Gal said...

I'm working on building mileage, so 12 still sounds awesome to me!

PS Shoes came today--hooray! And THANK YOU again!!

Katie said...

YEESH. code brown is the worst. evacuate the dance floor!

pensive said...

I think we all need a mulligan sometimes. Absolutely.

Code brown will make me laugh the rest of the evening. Who knew I was a little boy?

Jen said...

must be something in that Vegas water… and we didn't even drink any of that!

My last long run (only ten to your 20) was aborted all together because I got ill and the run before that (6 miles) was run with 'code brown' alerts threatening to the point that I had to walk a good bit of the way less things not turning out well… made it thru but it wasn't the best run I'd ever had.

Brian said...

Thank you for posting this. I was kicking my own ass after a ten miler last week. Good to see I'm not alone (and someone can interject some humor).

Dr. TriRunner said...

Laughed out loud at the "reverse walk of shame" :D

I wouldn't worry about it... we all have off weeks. Except for those son of a biscuits that put in like 20% of the training, show up on race day, and bust your PR looking like they just jogged a 400....

But like I said, we all have those weeks. ;) I WOULD however try to figure out what caused the GI issues if source remains unknown... one of those things that may or may not be within your control but can totally screw you over on race day.

ShutUpandRun said...

My Christmas wish for you is that code brown stays away for the marathon. Code farts, well that's just fine. But anything more substantial than that and it'll be one messy race day. But something cool to blog about! "I had a CB not a PR!" or I had a PR and a CB, even better!!

Char said...

Nothing like a couple of ugly runs to make you doubt your entire existence. I hope you get some good rebound runs this week to wipe the bad ones from your memory.

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

Did the reverse walk of shame this morning as well due to rain. It was humid and wet and I said screw it! Made it up this evening.

The Pfitz plan is working though - dropped 72mi last week and am feeling great. Got another HM coming up on New Years Day and plan to let it rip to get a gauge of fitness. It is going to hurt!

C2Iowa said...

"reverse walk of shame" -- My favorite phrase for 2011!!! Love that one.

Talk about fail - my ultra training has been f.a.i.l on so many levels. I hope that I can turn it around fast.

Thanks for the help with Olathe; looks like its going to be a boring race. Crap.

GeorgiaSnail said...

code brown...love it.

I just noticed that you need to update your 50 state map...The great state of Georgia is now complete.

Laura said...

(code brown) mental images that won't go away now...
I ran in freezing temps and slippery roads on Sunday. I can't relate to just some rain..