I have a feeling that ever since the second human sport was invented (ironically, probably dealing with rock throwing) the two different types of athletes were trying to compare each other to see who was better. Pissing matches are eons old. So, who IS the better athlete? Me or a body builder? Let’s take a look:
Bertha – female (I think) bodybuilder. Able to swallow 20 testosterone pills in a single mouthful.
Adam – male runner. While I’m flexing every muscle I’ve got in this picture,
it looks like my dork muscle is showing the strongest.
Let’s take a look at a few objective benchmarks of relative performance:
While I’m not sure, but based on her
Half Marathon PR:
Mine is 1:29. Bertha doesn’t have one because she is too busy running 20 minute sprints to keep her body fat percentage as low as her menstrual cycle. That is, zero. (Advantage, Adam)
Ok, those items were MOSTLY in jest but I was seriously wondering how I could compare myself to a meat-head body builder. It is certainly an apples and oranges comparison, but that hasn’t stopped me from trying to pick a winner from two seemingly non-similar items (which is better: Going to the dentist or “The Situation” on Jersey Shore? Dentist). At the end of the day, I have to look at effort put forth and the relative “age group” performance. I’m probably top 5%, but Bertha has to be top 0.1%. I know lots of people who can run as fast as me but I only know one person who can not only palm a watermelon but can crush it with one hand – Bertha (Actually, “Bertha” is a random picture that I found on the internet).
So, is Bertha the better athlete? Who is the “best” athlete? Kobe Bryant? Payton Manning? Honestly, I might vote for a decathlon participant – or honestly maybe a triathlete. Who am I kidding, no matter what the contest, I’m voting for me! Now, I'm off to practicing pulling semi trucks with a rope.