Monday, September 19, 2011

Bachelor Weekend Roundup

Whew, just realized that this post got WORDY.  I guess I had lots of time to kill all by myself.  Hunker down with your comfy pants on and dive in.

Like I mentioned in my Funny Foto Friday post, over the last few days, I’ve been a bachelor.  Regrettably, there were not 25 hard body, bikini clad women vying for my attention, love, or receiving a gas station rose.  Rather, my wife and son were out of town visiting relatives Wednesday through Sunday.  When I was traveling full time for work, this wouldn’t be an event for celebration – or even mention.  However, now that I am working in town in full on dad mode, I decided to take advantage of my 3 day bachelorhood.

I was originally in this picture wearing flip flops, shorts, and one of those big straw hats, 
but it seems that I was cropped out.   No worries, sausage party anyway.

Truth be told, I didn’t have any major plans for the time that they were away.  I still worked, and most importantly I still ran.  This was a peak week for me (70 miles!!  ZOMG!!!11!!1!!1!!1) and, even though I would have loved otherwise, nothing would get in the way of laying around in my underwear running.  That meant that I needed to make a GU run.  When you have to eat 2 or more GU 3 or 4 times a week, it starts to add up!

When I got to the running store to pick up my GU, I realized that there was a race that was happening RIGHT THEN!  Two thoughts immediately crossed my mind: 1. Would I get any blisters if I ran it in my work shoes?  2. Booty shorts!  Could I run it barefoot while wearing work clothes? Fortunately smarter heads prevailed, I got some GU, some Nuun, drooled on a few pairs of shoes, and left.  I was able to chat it up with a few other local blogger/runner friends while I was there, but I didn’t get any pictures of them :(

The little race expo – free beer with entry!

A few of the participants.  It looked like they were going to have a few hundred by the time they were done
Booty shorts completely coincidental

After the running store, the car magically drove its way to a local Micro Brewery 
and I bought two 6 packs.  Magic!

Since I knew that Friday was going to be my lightest day of running, I decided to man up and do what almost every married guy does when they are home alone:  I made bad food, drank FAR too much beer, tweeted more tweets per capita than Kim Kardashian, texted hilarious texts back and forth with runner buddies, and watched a manly movie.  Top Gun.

Bad food – burgers and tator tots.  Mmmm, tastes like yellow.

Far too much beer.  Because of the % alcohol, this felt like drinking (approximately) 28 Bud Lights.

Manly movies – back when Tom Cruise was normal and Meg Ryan was cute.  
**Insert your favorite Top Gun Quote here**  (Maverick, you can be my wingman anytime)

Friday’s 5 mile recovery run was recovery on many aspects.  I’ve found that hung over runs either help a lot or compound the issue into some sort of head exploding complication. Fortunately, after 5 miles I felt right as rain.  Regrettably, because of my 22 mile run on Saturday, Friday night was lights out at 9pm with the only things being completed after I got to work was my wife’s “list” that I was left to be completed while she was gone.  Unfortunately, I could have not completed the items on the list in a beer fueled, bachelor pad induced rage.  But after being married 7 years, I know MUCH better than that.

My 22 mile run went GREAT!  I kept to my loserville 9pm bedtime, and restrained myself to 2 glasses of wine (I AM human afterall).  It started out a bit slow, but I was able to run negative splits and end up with a final pace around 7:55/mi.  Because Arizona was built on the surface of the sun, I had to circle back to my house and refill my waterbottles.  I find that, when I do this I drink too much to try to empty the load on full bottles (see also Thursday) and get sloshy.  Something to try to avoid in the future.

Once I was cleaned up I headed to do what every single guy does on Saturday: strip club! goto his buddy Iron Chad two year old’s birthday party.  It was actually really fun and I got to hold his brand new-ish little baby.  There was a bouncy house but it’s weight limit was 100 pounds.  Believe me, if he wasn’t borrowing it from a friend, there WOULD be picture of me inside of it.

FINALLY!  A rest day.  No running for today!!  Instead?  More chores.

Since my wife was scheduled to be home by 10:30am, I went around and picked up a bit to try to convince her that I didn’t live in total squalor.  Honestly though I found that she did a pretty damn good job of training me over the years. I'm like one of those little puppies on the animal planet channel that can pee in the toliet and open the fridge. The kitchen was clean:

The toilet seat was always down:

But, by god, the bed never got made a single time.  And you know what?  I still managed to sleep.just.fine.

Honestly though, at the end of the day, I really did miss them both.  Don’t get me wrong, watching what I wanted to on TV (football!!  Boobs!!  Explosions!!) and drinking to excess without fear of having to drive to the ER with an infant was fun.  But, the empty house seemed cold, no one was there to laugh at my jokes, and it just seemed strange for me to yell “That’s what she said!!!” at the TV.


Nobel4Lit said...

An interesting way to spend the weekend. Glad your runs went well!

X-Country2 said...

My god, that's a cute child! Way to batch it up this weekend. Love the cheeseburger and tater tots. Good call on the no bun. THAT would have made it unhealthy, you're right.

MotherRunner said...

Yeah, that shot of the booty shorts looked totally coincedental.

Lots of beers + Lots of running = My perfect weekend.

JojaJogger said...

"Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit."

Morgan said...

LOL! Love it! That roughly looks like a weekend of Spike's when I'm away only replace the burgers and tots for pizza. :)

Jamoosh said...

Goose: Maybe I should be a truck driver. Hey Mav you know the name of that truck driving school. Truck Master I think it is. I might need that...

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

Welcome to your thirties. When Annie was away when I was in my twenties bad things happened. Like missing cuts from "The Hangover" type of things.

Now when she is gone for the weekend I watch TV, train, eat pizza, sleep on the couch, and try to avoid all social interactions.

In hindsight the thirties are much better!

Tricia said...

I'd tell you [my favorite Top Gun quote] but then I'd have to kill you.

Your son is absolutely adorable. What a beautiful smile.

Katie said...

70 miles?! you shoulda drunk 70 beerz.

TriMOEngr said...

Totally the grin I expected to get from your bachelor weekend post. Beautiful pic of the kiddo at the end to make us forget some of the crazy images you put in our heads. Perfect!

XLMIC said...

Would you believe I just saw Top Gun for the first time about 6 weeks ago? For real. I can't believe I finally saw it :P

So glad you survived your weekend solo :)

RunningLaur said...

holy crap that's a lot of kiltlifter!

SlimKatie said...

I love that you worry about drinking in excess because you may have to drive your son to the ER in the middle of the night... I thought I was the only one who had thoughts like that! It's kind of funny how much your thoughts change when you become a parent.

Sounds like you had a great time as a bachelor for the weekend!

Joanna said...

Some thoughts:
a) congrats on the great 22 miler.
b) I cannot drink even one glass of wine the night before distance like that.
c) all dudes eat crappy food while the women folk are away. Not because they can't cook, but because they are animals.
d) You ARE amazingly well house broken. It speaks well of your wife and probably your mother. Congrats to them.
e) ain't nothing wrong with Top Gun.

Jess said...

I would like a weekend like that! Except no running. Just burgers, beer, and tator tots!

Running Moose said...

Nice weekend! Now if I can convince my wife and kids to go away for the weekend...
Top Gun? I always thought that was a chick flick...Naked Gun, Aliens, those are guy flicks!

Laura said...

Free beer with entry? Man, now I am disappointed in you for not entering and DNSing.