Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Good intentions

Good intentions. Sometimes good intentions provide a gold star on the day, reward for a job well done. Other times? Mud butt.

I had good intentions when I started my long run this weekend. I really did. First, while still in my sleep I was going to sew a large “S” on my chest superman style. (Right next to my tattoo of Charlie Sheen.) Having previously set my alarm for 3:55am (!!!) I was planning on getting up, running 14 miles, getting back and showered before my son woke up. My wife might as well have handed me the father of the year mug for me to drink my hot cup of modesty**. It was going to be glorious. I should have expected something was amiss when I woke up at 3:55 and the superman cape that I had tied around my neck had cut the oxygen supply to my brain, turning my head blue like a smurf.

I got up, put my contacts in, and felt the all too familiar rumble in my stomach. I knew where that was going. One thing lead to another and my normal 25 minute prep time somehow turned into 45 with a short 10 minute break time on the toilet.

The run itself went fine, however I could tell that I didn’t have quite as much get up and go as I thought that I should. I’ve been actively working to increase my miles (40 miles last week) and it seems like the added distance was starting to take its toll. What would have ideally been a 7:45 pace run was mostly a 8:00 pace run. It was one of those where I didn’t want to push the pace so I settled at whatever felt comfortable, but comfortable was slow(er) than I wanted. But then something happened….

Around 10 miles, I felt the all too familiar rumblings of something trying to bust out of my innards. My thoughts immediately went to my lovely family, sleeping soundly awaiting my arrival. So, I pushed on. I grunted and groaned and was able to get all the way through 13 miles. The issue? I was still a mile away from home. Bummer. I stopped and tried to walk it off with no success. The result: Mud Butt.

Mud Butt [muhd][buht] –noun: The state of defecation limbo whereas a bowl movement has progressed past the stage of turtle-heading but no skid marks are created.

So, that was fun. Fortunately, this ain’t my first rodeo, and I have an escape hatch to cut a solid half mile off of my normal run route. Let’s just say that I used the escape hatch this weekend. Once I got home, I received the news that my son had actually already been awake and had fallen asleep again. My efforts were for naught!!!

But, when I came home, I got to hang out with my son (and take a nap in the chair while he squirmed all over me) and that made it worth it. Probably.  Finally, lots of you have requested pictures of the little man, so here you go!

Hanging out on the floor

With mom and dad at his baptism

4 months!


If you’re still reading this, first does your mom know? thank you. Second, can I get some props for combining the term mud butt with pictures of my son? Just like my tattoo of Charlie Sheen would say. WINNING!!

**Tastes like a combination of ginger and failure

28 comments:

Chad said...

Good looking kid. Who is the Dad?

Nobel4Lit said...

Wow, that must have been some bad food you had there... While I've had my share of GI issues, not that one (yet).

Jamoosh said...

What is the phrase for the feeling you get during a run when you know something is going on but you don't know if it is a fart or something worse?

Runners Fuel said...

That must have been interesting!! Your son is getting cuter and cuter everytime!

ShutUpandRun said...

I'm still trying to figure out how you have mud butt w/o a skidmark. This hurts my brain.

One Crazy Penguin said...

I had no idea what mud butt was before this post and I was perfectly okay with that. Thanks for ruining that.

Your son is such a happy kid! Utterly adorable :)

Kovas said...

4 anagrams for mud butt are:
Dumb Tut
Dub Mutt
Bud Mutt
Butt Mud
Your welcome.

misszippy said...

Winning indeed! Ugh, been there.

On the flip side, your son is adorable!

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

I am now glad to have a term for what occurs often. Mud butt will now be permanently added to my vocabulary!

C2Iowa said...

Win win. Great fam pics

Morgan said...

For the record, I did not need the mental picture that the description of Mud Butt gave me. Thanks for that. *Puke*

Also that tattoo... It makes me sad someone actually got that. What the hell is wrong with people?!??!

And finally, I <3 your son. He is too adorable!!!

Matty B. said...

Super cute baby!

XLMIC said...

Super props for using Mud Butt in the same post with pics of your ADORABLE son... and having it not be about a diaper ;-)

He is a Super-cutie... does HE have a red cape yet?

The Banter said...

I'm confused...10 minutes on the can and then how much time mud butting? Trying to work out the math in my head but it's getting blurred with cute baby pix

Kate said...

That's a great description. I'm just going to link to this post any time I have race bowel issues. You're welcome. :)

Good job getting up super early, even with the extra prep time!

And yes, your son is darling. :) What a cutie. Thank you for posting regular baby pictures so I can get my baby fix without actually prcreating again. You're the best!

Chanda M. DeFoor said...

What a beautiful family!

I can sympathize with having GI issues. It stinks! ;)

Scallywag said...

I just came across your blog and its hilarious! Seriously cut into my sleeping hours reading it ha ha. Worth it though!

Fiona

http://cadsandscallywags.blogspot.com/

Christina said...

Super cute baby! :)

Laura said...

I am trying to focus on how cute your son is and not mud butt, turtle-heading and ...Charlie Sheen.... :)

run4may said...

The husband is baptizing his niece at the end of the month. Any ideas on a good gift for her? What did your son get form his godparents? Sorry if this is personal and you don't want to share, figured I'd ask.

Pam said...

I'm not a big fan of two-legged furless children, but that is ONE CUTE KID!

Zaneta said...

look how cute he his!! Thanks for sharing pics!! :)

Angie Bee said...

good to know I am not the only one....TMI but runners can get away with that right....
Thanks for the pictures :) Made me smile!

Jill said...

Well...you got it done at least, yes?!?

jess said...

Adorable son! Oh my gosh, so adorable!

JessiePants said...

LOVE the photos of the little man!
When the rumbles attack, been there sir, but as Angie Bee alluded to there is not much that runners won't say.

Adrienne said...

Wowee....hate that feeling. Thanks for ending it with the cute photos of the little guy though.

Laura said...

Hmm. I don't know what turtle heading is, so now I also still don't know what mud butting is. Maybe I have just not experienced either?