Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Running Around with Adam......

Also Known As…..I have attention deficit….I like peas.

You should always look your best - no matter what
I sort of tweaked my knee over the weekend. Part of it was probably the fact that I didn’t take enough down time after getting smoked by a little girl running my half marathon but honestly part of it was the fact that I had to take a poop break mid way through. For some reason, sitting down on the toilet for 15 minutes 5 minutes mid run really locks them up and makes them sore. So, for the rest of the weekend my wife got to hear me bitch about my knee and gimp around (at least while she was looking) trying to gain some level of sympathy. (Failed miserably) Does anyone else get crampy on the crapper?

Thankfully, the pain didn’t last long, and after two days of rest, I was back on the roads this morning for 6 easy miles at 7:40 pace. It was good to get back on the road. When I am running my mind wanders to an even deeper state (than normal) of cluelessness. What did I see on my run this morning? I dunno….. but I do know that by 7:30 this morning, I’d already ran 10K, pooped twice, and had breakfast of delicious Trix. Trix are for kids grown men with empty colons!

I’m infatuated with Charlie Sheen. If you haven’t heard, he is currently in a public relations tailspin that would make Lindsey Lohan’s dad envious. He is the highest paid sitcom star, but his show has been canceled for the season because of his outbursts against the network and director. To top it all off, over the last two days, he’s given interviews where he has said that he has “tiger’s blood” in his veins and admitted that he lives with not one but TWO lovely ladies. (One who is a porn star and the other who is a “model”) He is like a richer, more stoned version of sister wives. I can’t help but just stare at him in awe. Certainly not envy, but sort of like that runner dude who pooped his pants while finishing a race. No one was looking away from THAT guy. You want to see if he starts puking or if he slips on his own fecal matter and falls!
Seriously - how does he not slip and fall?

Finally, I stumbled across an article that I HAD to share. A German brewery is trying to market their nonalcoholic beer as a sports drink. Leave it to the Germans to mix, quite possibly, two of the best things in the world beer and beer maidens endurance and beer. Their thought is that beer is a carbohydrate and electrolyte rich beverage that is perfect for refueling after a run. Just like my wife’s grandpa says: It is just like drinking a loaf of bread. Although, while I’ve never had nonalcoholic beer, I can only imagine that it tastes something similar to old socks and that poop dude above’s gym shorts. So, for now I’ll pass. Would you drink NA beer for a sports drink?
Tastes like recovery


29 comments:

Jamoosh said...

Would you drink NA beer? For a sports drink?

No! and No!

gene @boutdrz said...

NA beer? why? so i can SMELL like a drunk, but not have any of the side benefits?
No, thank you.
(not that all beer drinkers are drunks. let's be clear on that. but if i drank as much NA beer as I drink water..well, i'd smell like a drunk).

Luke said...

I'm w/ Jamoosh

misszippy said...

This is one of my favorite posts so far--all over lots of good topics!

First--glad you are recovering from all the strain that is sitting on a toilet.

Second--Charlie Sheen. Entertaining implosion, for sure.

Third--Dumb idea by the Germans. Like the Snickers energy bar.Some things just don't go together.

Nobel4Lit said...

I've seen that running poop image several times now and am so disgusted still each time that I can almost smell the poop.

Rose said...

I'm high on...Charlie Sheen.

Evolving Through Running said...

Now that I've finally convinced my wife that beer is a sports drink, this could completely derail things. Damn you Germans.

Steph said...

I am forever scarred by the running poop picture

Runners Fuel said...

I've never seen that pooping runner guy before...gross!!

Kate said...

The only way I could manage 6 easy miles at that pace is if you dropped me from outer space...and then my pants would, indeed, look like that runner guy. So gross...and now I'm thinking no matter how my marathon is going I'll stop at a bathroom if I have to, no matter what potential ass-shaping benefit I might get from clenching for 26 miles. Ugh...I so don't want to be that guy.

Not a fan of beer, so the Germans would be out of luck with me. Now the hard stuff, sure...but leave in the alcohol, please.

Tri-James said...

This is Charlie Sheen – don’t you remember Heidi Fleiss? I remember a quote from back then – they asked Charlie why he had to pay call girls to date? He said, “You don’t pay them to come over, you pay them so that they leave.”

And the shit runner guy – that used to be my background on my work computer.

Both very classy.

Jess said...

Someday, perhaps soon, Sheen's obit would be really fun to compose. Almost like writing fiction.

Barefoot Neil Z said...

Did you dye your hair? Something different about you on the potty shot...

Jen said...

The post is the post that just keeps on giving. Where to start.

I am officially in the i love Charlie Sheen fan club. I mean who can't relate to being a rock star from Mars, while two coked up porn stars stand stoically by your side… (until the coke and money runs out)

Anyhoo… glad you are feeling better and glad not to be the guy in the poop photo.

Also, Germany, you'd have a bigger hit on your hands if you could come up with a way to convince people the alcoholic version worked to improve performance… crap, I would even try that.

Kovas said...

NA beer and a liitle lemon Absolut is actually quite refreshing.

Chad said...

I'd love an alternative to Gatorade for a sports drink. If this near beer was flat, I'd try it out. Hooray for non-sweet things during my workouts.

JessiePants said...

Agree with all on the NA beer/sports drink, no way man. It is just wrong...
Running poopy pant fella just makes me cringe every time I see him and agree that it's like a train wreck and you can't look away...poor cat

SupermomE12 said...

Peas are gross... so would be a NA beer recovery drink... and so is that picture. Triple bleck! :)
E
http://seemomrunfar.blogspot.com/

Madison said...

How many times in my life must I have to look at that photo of that dude crapping himself mid-run?

Charlie Sheen must have lost his comb recently. I'm going to miss Two and a Half. It's just a tragedy!

Jill said...

Glad the pesty knee returned back to normal after the short break and I am SO glad that Dedication pic isn't you. For that matter, I'm glad you aren't Charlie Sheen....but if you ever do get some of his wealth, please don't forget your Iowa friends.

adrianne said...

okay, i seldom comment, but i must since you have a charlie sheen addiction.

http://www.livethesheendream.com/

Angie Bee said...

I would drink Woodchuck for a recovery drink since I can't do most beers. NA is like decaf, whats the point :)

TutuRunner said...

i can totally see dude's manties up there. man up, dude! drop 'em!

Her Name Is Rio said...

That picture of the runner with the runs! So, so, uncomfortable to see.
Nothing to do with NA beer, but have you seen Das Beer Boot?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuDtACzKGRs

Nicole said...

I have so many different ADD thoughts on this post. 1. I'm still obsessed with the Charlie Sheen story too. It just keeps getting better and more bizarre. 2. That poor runner who crapped his pants- I think that is the most used running picture and I feel so sorry for that poor bastard. I know he finished second which would be horrible after that, but I have so many unanswered questions. At what point was this in the race? Did the hose down the course for the rest of the runners? Is he still running? Imagine the shame showing up at races after that photo has been all over the internet. 3. I will drink a regular beer after a tough run, but what is the point when it's nonalcoholic? Pass.

Pam said...

If it takes you 5 minutes to drop a load, you need to eat more fiber.

Seriously, that poop photo NEVER GETS OLD.

I am LOVING this Charlie Sheen train wreck! But I hate it for Two and a Half Men. I LOVE that show and don't wanna see it get tanked!

Al's CL Reviews said...

Charlie Sheen looks like he has recreated his role from Ferris Bueller.

Would you drink NA beer? For a sports drink? No and No.

Spike said...

I can think of a few other bad ideas the Germans have had...

The ansewr is no.

Andrew Opala said...

Yes, I get crampy on the powder-room crapper. The Master Crapper is just fine. The difference? The master is about 6 inched higher. The powder room one is like doing a kettle-bell squat.

Re: beer
Yes MGD 64 - this is the US version of that german beer.