Friday, February 25, 2011

Funny Foto Friday: Bad Race Photos / Getting Chicked

I like to think of myself as a pretty cosmopolitan guy wanting to touch in touch with my feminine side. I wear pink shirts, get my eyebrows waxed, and I have even been known to watch The Real Housewives of Orange County. However, as I was browsing through my Lost Dutchman Half Marathon race photos, I couldn’t help but notice that there was a disturbing trend: The photographer kept either taking pictures of me getting chicked by a little girl or looking like I was going to die!!!!

The term “getting chicked” refers to a guy getting beat buy a female. I know that quite a few females who despise the term, but as everyone knows, men have very fragile egos and therefore came up with the term as a way to classify their frustration. Personally, I could care less who beats me – unless they are in my age group – then I’ll trip, bite and pull hair to get ahead.

Here is how my race day went - in pictures. Happy Friday!

The race itself started out pretty good - Rock fist!!
However, if you look close, you'll see the #1 female getting ready to hand me a beat down.  Chicked.

But then, something went horribly wrong.  Enter, my nemesis.  I'm not even sure WHEN the pictures were taken.  Mile 3? Mile 10? Who knows.  Either way, apparently the little 2 mile/8K/10K runner below was kicking some middle aged white guy ass.  Probably while thinking about Justin Bieber or if after the race she was going to have a tea party or hoola-hoop.

Really photographer?  You thought I needed THIS many pictures???  Thanks....jerk.

She even had better form than I did.  Check out my horrible heel strike.  Chris K is cringing at even the sight of me pounding the pavement like this:

Me: Horrible heel strike, grimace, pasty white legs.

Her: Midfoot strike, quick steps, not even phased by my grunting and taunting

If you thought that would be enough embarrassing for one race, ohhh no.  There were many many other pictures that showed me either getting beat down or looking like I was trying to pass a corn cob out of my nether regions.

Trying my best to catch up.  No luck.

 ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Of course, 90% of this post was in jest. As everyone knows..... I love the ladies.  The other 10% that wasn't in jest?  I mean COME ON - do I really need that many pictures of me looking like I am racing a little girl?

44 comments:

Emily said...

You got chicked!!! but you're super crazy fast so it doesn't really matter. Those are fantastic!

Rose said...

If you were racing like a little girl, maybe you would have beat that other little girl.

gene @boutdrz said...

alls i can say is....
DERRRP. wowzers....
http://derp.memebase.com/
oh, and of course, those gloves ROCK. how cold WAS it there? 65?
brrrrrrrrrr......

Average A said...

This is hilarious, and that girl has great form. If you'd stop all the whining and whimpering, she could have taught you a thing or two. ;p

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

lol. You look like you are in some intense pain in those pictures and she's just cruising along. Oh to be young again...

Tim Wilson said...

Don't you mean.....

I mean COME ON - do I really need that many pictures of me getting chicked by a little girl?

Suza said...

Photographer obviously thought it was hillarious too, which is why there's so many copies. HAHAH, this is great!!

Karen said...

too freaking funny! I love how the ladies look totally effortless.

kilax said...

Ha. I love that there are so many of them!

Lisa said...

My last race, I was chasing down a couple of kids. I beat one of them (Ha!) but the other smoked me at the finish line (d'oh!)

Her Name Is Rio said...

Sometimes I think those photographers make a bet on who can take the most outrageous pics. My kids were entertained by your pics! Unfortunately, I think my heel strikes and grimaces in the last mile beat yours.

Madison said...

You shouldn't be upset that she passed you. You should be mad that she was in almost every single one of your race photos. I'd be pissed if one person was repeatedly in my photos. You need to let her know that next time, either run faster or slower just not in the same photo frame. :)

Morgan said...

Bahahahahahhaha you poor thing...

The Sean said...

Good thing you deleted the evidence of tackling her and tying her to a cactus in the desert... they have to learn somehow. Btw- you'd better get back out there and release her.

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

Dude, looks like you were grunting out some poop on that last one!

Great race!

Spike said...

Not to worry, I'm sure her version of the story in no ways sound like this: "And then, like, I could see the photographer up ahead, so I like, just, you know, I totally took my time passing this weird dude so there are gonna be like a million pictures of me passing him!"

Small Town Runner said...

Man. My dad is the only one who ever takes that many pictures of me in a race. haha

Getting chicked isn't that bad...you just don't want to end up in a sprint to the finish with a 17 year old boy. They have a tendency to save back some :)

Nobel4Lit said...

If that girl finds this blog...

Tri-James said...

Yeah, you either have to beat the kids or let them pass - what you are doing is wrong (and caught on film).

Evolving Through Running said...

Steroid test for that girl .... stat! Kids today.

I want a race photo of myself getting chicked. It happens so often I'm amazed all my pics don't look that way.

Adrienne said...

"A corn cob out my nether regions" Oh man, you are hilarious. Loved all the pictures. Good stuff.

danny said...

Here's my observations:
Boringrunner: handheld, watch, bluetooth, spibelt (?), long sleeve, shin splint device (?)
Littlegirl: ummmm, nothing.

Key to not being chicked: ditch the accessories.

funderson said...

Yeah, I'm with Danny...you're too danged heavy!

tahoegirl said...

Maybe she needed to pass because she was tired of being downwind from you...

Tricia said...

Dying laughing

and now tweeting to my friends

Katie said...

ahaha this is greatness! If this did not happen you would not have blog post gold, awesome :)

Caroline said...

this made me laugh so loud my kids ran down the stairs to come and see and my 5 yrs old ask "is he crying on this one?!!!" ahhhhh ha ha!!!!

Barefoot Neil Z said...

heel strike? more like a calf strike. wow!

Amanda@runninghood said...

You are seriously one of the best bloggers Adam! You crack me up. These pictures have me laughing loudly. My husband is sitting next to me and saying "Seriously? That funny?" I love that you can make fun of yourself. You're awesome!

Jamoosh said...

Here's the worst part - you are wearing a long sleeve shirt and the young lady is in short sleeves? You should have just stayed bundled up in bed.

Coy Martinez said...

just found your blog. Hilarious! I'm going to make it my mission to chick some guys in about 4 weeks.

Detroit Runner(Jeff) said...

Haha! We all get chicked. It's part of racing. Love the pictures. Funny post Adam. You always crack me up!

Nicole said...

With the O.C. Housewives mention this is my favorite funny foto friday! That girl looks like a pretty serious runner. Maybe she was older than she looks? I think I usually get mistaken for a 16 year old, and I even got a race discount once because the guy in charge of bibs assumed I was younger.

2 Slow 4 Boston said...

Awesome funny post. You're faster than me so who am I to talk, but since I've started talking, next time, quit playing with your watch, waving to the camera, wearing long sleeve shirts, and/or carrying a water bottle, and you might not get chicked as often. lol

Chris K said...

Well, I cringe even more at my heel strikes. Luckily, after 9 months, I have improved from awful to just horrible.

Race pics are great feedback. I use the cameramen as "triggers" to think good form, yet it never looks the way I want to.

You killed the race so that's all that matters.

Cynthia O'H said...

She's just a little girl - different age and gender. You still ran well.

And, for the record, I hate it when guys complain about being chicked (although I do know that you're not completely serious). I can only hope you weren't yelling at her when she passed you.

Christina said...

And you're being beat by a girl half your age!

Chanda M. DeFoor said...

What timing! My husband was just telling me about the term "getting chicked" today!

C2Iowa said...

Chicked or not - wicked fast times you earn.

TutuRunner said...

i must say. i love it! =) hee hee.

BrianFlash said...

Looks like you are spending too much time either celebrating for the camera or looking at your watch. You should have been able to hold off that kid at least! :)

Laura said...

If it's any consolation, you know if you ever raced me, you'd kick my butt :)

Andrew Opala said...

Being in pictures with little girls is alright in my book. Just make sure no restraining orders were filed!

BTW I hate those massive starts when the 1 mile fun run, the 5k, 10k and the half all start at once. And have these kids with jean jackets tied around their waists running in school uniforms looking at the slow fat guy they just lapped!

Michelle Kreifels said...

OMIGOSH! Those photos are AWESOME! Haha...so chicked ;) Congrats on the race.