Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Got Corns? Foot corns?!

I’ve received a lot of things as a result of my running – some good….some not so good. On the good side, I’ve lost 40 pounds, increased my overall fitness to a level that I thought only possible with the help of very strong, very illegal steroids, and I’ve got an ass that won’t quit. (Glute muscles ARE one of the primary muscles in bi-pedal forward locomotion after all. Anatomy knowledge bomb!!! POW!)

On the bad side, I’ve got tiny T-Rex sized arms that are only good for twisting off the loosest of beer caps, I go to bed at times that my grandfather would laugh at, and my feet take a beating worse than a stripper with no morals. Oh, and I’ve got a corn on my foot. Super.

Unfortunately, it isn’t the good kind of corn. It is the bad, old man foot kind. I know what you are thinking: ”But Adam! You are a specimen of perfect health!? Michelangelo’s David blushes when he sees your weak upper body….. private parts chiseled legs. Why would you fall victim to such a pot mark on an otherwise perfect physique?” I have no idea.

Corns on your feet are very similar to warts, but fortunately they aren’t the kind that you have to call all of your past lovers and explain that they have to get tested. Score! Unfortunately, they are the kind that you have to take care of.  So, after (literally) 4 days of begging, my wife picked up some foot pads at Target and I’ve been wearing them ever sense.

Shame.  Note the Fat Tire beer to kill the bad feelings


Doesn’t look like much, but it feels like a thorn poking my foot with each step

Oval shaped padded relief

The pads have a little medicated disk that is basically the same ingredients as wart remover.  Here is what it looked like after 4 days of "treatment".  You can really see the corn hole (hehe) in this one.  Shortly after I took this picture I used a pumus stone to try to scrub it off.  Bad move.  Now it hurts even more than before!

What are some of the unintended side effects of everyone else's running?  It can't all be rainbows and unicorns for everyone, can it?

Although, putting a positive spin on it, I DO get to gross my wife out with pictures of my disgusting feet on my blog.  So, that is nice.

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38 comments:

Tricia said...

You've really let yourself go since the baby,huh? Better watch out,that hot wife of yours may start looking for prettier feet...

This post shouldve come with some sort of "nasty foot pics" warning label.

Kovas said...

Got corns? Foor Corns? Chris Korns? The rainbows and unicorns took off to Florida for the winter, so we have snow, wind, and ice (the last keeps beer cold, so that's good).

LonnieRuns said...

Ha...Agree with the warning about foot pic warning.

In all seriousness, I've got a pretty sweet arm routine if you're going to start lifting more. It won't make your arms longer, but def give you some mass - enough to at least twist open a Fat Tire!

Chad said...

pock mark. right?

Anyway, I think I prefer toilet pictures to foot pictures. The internet is getting skeevier with every passing day.

Nicole said...

So what's the difference between a corn and a callus? It looks like I could have some corns as well, but I always assume that they're just calluses and they don't hurt.
You may have an ass that won't quit but my boyfriend actually told me a couple of weeks ago that my ass isn't what it used to be and that I must be running too much. What?? I was pretty offended and think it might have been the pants I was wearing, hopefully. Now I've been making an effort to do the stepmill and leg sled more often.
I think that since I've started running so much my legs have become more muscular and bigger while my upper body is still pretty wimpy, a phenomenon that I call "centaur body", smaller upper half with a large lower half. And I also have the ugliest feet and unattractive short tan lines, but I learn to embrace it all because I'm not going to stop running anytime soon!

Nobel4Lit said...

I don't think I got this from running, but one of my feet had a gnarly bunion. It sometimes hurts me during runs. Stupid genetics.

Runners Fuel said...

I love grossing my hubs with my gfeet. I'm just not brave enough to post a pic.

Chelsea said...

Why are wives always the ones who have to go buy the embarrassing items at Target?

Rose said...

I've lost toe nails. I don't care, but my friends don't like to be seen in public with me and my rotting feet.

Barefoot Neil Z said...

Your foot looks terrible... ga.

Oh, I get chapped ass. being a large mammal still, If I forget the body glide, I end up with ass chafing...

Barefoot Neil Z said...

And you people with all the foot issues think barefooting is stupid... I'll show you awesome feet. Watch for a future awesome feet post!

ShutUpandRun said...

I have a nasty side effect called stress fractures. Wish I could remove that with a circle band aid.

Seriously, corns suck and hurt.

I only see corn in my poop, not on my feet and for that I ma grateful.

Chris K said...

This is just great, I am just about to dig into lunch and I thought I'd take a peek at Adam's Blog first. Dude, I'd rather hear about your B.M. issues than look at macro images of your corns.

Razz said...

geez, man...you need to run a disclaimer before you show those nasty pics.

Adrienne said...

Just so I'm clear. You had to ask your wife 4 times to go to the store and get you the circle bandaids? Is there something wrong with your legs and driving ability now too? The woman just had a baby for pete sakes and I'm suppose to feel bad about your corns? Talk to me once you've had an episiotomy then I'll feel bad for you. :)

RoadBunner said...

I've got a corn between my little toe and "ring" toe. It's a chronic thing and hurts enough to use that remover stuff you're holding there once every few years. I thought the timing of this post was hiliarious because I'm taking off my little oval pad thing tonight and will have the exact dead-white skin with little hole in the center thing you've got going on, too. Corn people, unite.

Jill said...

Oh hell yea my running's been all rainbows and unicorns!!! I have no idea what this thing you call foot pain is!

GeorgiaSnail said...

Wow...way to bury the lead! LOL, thanks for the shout out!

No corns-but have lost several toenails due to ultrarunning...both big toes within weeks of each other...gnarly.

Morgan said...

As if I don't see enough gross feet issues from Spike... seriously!!!! He had to show me his blood blister this weekend! I'll be sure to tell him all about this post and please tell your wife I feel for her. Disgusting men...

Angie Bee said...

I have not ever had a corn.
I am loving the comments though after you posted pictures. Not only do you make me giggle but our fellow bloggie buddies do too when giving you hell!

Funny how runners are not foot people. maybe because feet inside sweaty shoes get kinda yucky. My barefeet in the summer however are a different story.....I must confess that alas I am not a foot person either :)

krystyna47 said...

When my calluses on my feet get out of hand, I take a pair of nail clippers and cut them off. It's probably pretty bad for you, but it feels soooo satisfying. I really should get a pumice stone and spend an hour/a day/a year rubbing them out. Bahaha

Gracie (Complicated Day) said...

Now it is not fair that my feet are uglier than yours. And I stuff mine into high heels, too.

Laurie said...

Eww, gross. Maybe we can start a support group as my feet are pretty nasty, too, thanks to running. My left foot is actually mostly normal but I am down to two toenails on my right -- three fell off after my first marathon more than 9 years ago and decided to never return. Disgusting.

tahoegirl said...

Two lost toenails and bunions. 'Nuff said.

Pam said...

Huh huh huh...you said corn hole.

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!

Must have TP.

Yeah, I really gotta lay off the Beavis & Butthead.

Her Name Is Rio said...

I won't let anyone take pics of my feet. For sure. My foot modeling days are over due to running.

kilax said...

Only you could write a post about foot corns and make it so interesting and funny!

I think my husband has those. I should get him to try the strips. The only weird thing that has happened to me is that I have lost a few toenails, like you noticed :)

C2Iowa said...

Are those pads butter sented?

Courtney @ I CAN DO THIS said...

Your wife is dealing with newborn diapers and spit-up on a daily basis, and you're able to gross her out with your feet. Impressive.

misszippy said...

My dog, a Whippet, has had corns for several years now. I know it hurts him a LOT and I feel so bad. We've tried everything--corn pads (he takes them off) duct tape, banana peels (recommended by the vet), having her shave them down, etc. But he's stuck with them.

Long story short, my dog feels your pain! (I feel bad too!)

The Sean said...

I mainly get blueberry toes and have things falling off my feet at random. I am sure that corn pops with pain every step. Good call on the New Belgium. Remember, twists caps are the enemy.

Al's CL Reviews said...

I think I would be sadder drinking a Flat Tired than having corns on my feet.
My feet resemble yours minus the corn.
My bad hip/lower back are my injuries. However they hurt whether I run or not, so I keep doing it.

Bob said...

Pityful corn. Look at my toenail. http://offchasinggrace.blogspot.com/

Laura said...

Worse than a corn, I have a SEED CORN on my foot. It's basically a permanent corn that continuously grows back. Surgery is like 10% effective so usually they say just deal with it. It's OBNOXIOUS.

As quoted from my favorite doctor (aka the first relevant source I find on Google), "Whatever they are called they are aggravating. They grow into a second little callus that feels like you are walking on a little grain of sand or rice. When you pick at them you often get a little piece of skin from the center that people sometime mistake for a "seed", hence the name. When the seed comes out you are under the wonderful delusion that you have gotten the center of the lesion and you are done with the thing. Wrong-O! The thing is still there and continues to grow and cause complications."

It can be obnoxious during marathons, but usually only hurts a few days every few months until I cut it out again.

There, aren't you glad I shared?

Kate said...

Better to have old man feet than an old man ass! :)

I have these old spots where I blistered badly back in October. I still call them blisters, but the guy at the running store called them bunions. Ugh! Additionally, he continues to pop my delusions about what shoe size I wear, so with all that ugly reality it's a good thing he knows his stuff.

funderson said...

Oh my God! I think I have this. I've been suffering along thinking that I had stepped on something and it was working it's way out. I need a corn pad!

Glenn Jones said...

So what's the difference between a corn and a plantar wart? The solution is the same. They are both painful as hell! Glad to see you were able to solve the problem!

James said...

I had plantar warts for several years. I didn't even know what they were for the first year I had them. I tried the liquid wart remover, it didn't work. I ended up using the Dr. Shultz Freeze Away stuff and it worked after two treatments. I also get calluses around the big toe and every so often, I'll do a long foot soak then pumice it away.