Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Dehydration and Butt Wiping Rental Cars

  • I am an idiot
  • No really, stupid
  • Let me explain (if I can get my caveman brain caffeinated enough to fully articulate my stupidity). Since I fly in on Monday morning, I have to do at least one run a week at night followed by one run the very next morning. Because I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest my evening run is always very late. So, last night I ran 7 miles with 5 at Tempo of 6:53. KILLER run – knocked it out of the park. This morning, I ran 7 miles at Marathon Pace of 7:42 pace.  Total suck-fest.



  • The reason for putting myself in the "stupid people" Shake Weight purchaser category? Hydration. Not only did I not hydrate enough after a very sweaty tempo run, but my mouth might have accidentally fell on a free half bottle of wine from the hotel. The combination resulted in a KILLER headache this morning that didn’t go away during my entire marathon pace run. Stupid is as stupid does………and I are dumbest.


  • My rental car this week is probably the best one I’ve ever received. An Infinity M35. It is fast, luxurious, and did I mention it is fast? It is like wiping your ass with silk. (Nerd bonus points for naming that movie quote) That is, silk that goes 0-60 in 6 seconds.



  • Finally, (in case you are new) the reason that I fly out on Monday, and get sweet sweet ass wiping rental cars, is because I’m a traveling management consultant. When you’re a consultant you get used to a certain level of variability but this week has been especially whiplash inducing. The timeline is as follows:
    • Monday 4pm: Hints that the team size may be significantly reduced with the new contract and that my group wouldn’t be extended
    • Tuesday 9am: Confirm that I will indeed be rolling off
    • Tuesday 4pm: Have a meeting and find out that I will be moving to a different team (into a really great opportunity) doing similar type of stuff that I was before
    • Wednesday all day long: Continue to add value and create synergies Bob from Office Space style. “I’m a people person!! I work good with people!!!!”

28 comments:

track coach and adorable wife said...

Hey Shake Weights are awesome! Ok not really, but they are fun to play with in the store!

Jamoosh said...

Hi, my name is Jamoosh. I have been assigned as your sponsor to Dorkolopolis. Welcome.

RunningLaur said...

Woo! You're a really good person with a weakness for wine and MP runs...

Ever thought of rest day Monday?

C2Iowa said...

Matrix Reloaded????

Chad said...

You have 258 followers? Wow!

How do you get free wine from a hotel? I only get free bug bites. Zing!! And sometimes the maid tries to kiss my in my sleep.

Emz said...

dehydration = pickle juice. NOT pickle looking weights.

Matty B. said...

Can you jokingly approach your own team with that style of "you'll be rolling off this project" talk, or is that in poor taste?

Pam said...

It has been my experience that not many hotels give free bottles wine. Or free half bottles, unless they were dug out of the dumpster behind the Italian restaurant next door to the hotel. Sucker. They saw you coming.

And my Vette could kick your Infiniti's ass.

Andrew Opala said...

you know the infiniti is just a maxmima with a different grill

Runners Fuel said...

Have you seen the SNL skits on those weight shaker things? It's so funny!

Emily said...

Oh I am aware of this mistake and I make it often.

But you rocked both runs, right? Even if the MP run hurt your head a little? Sooo, I say no harm done!

Ewa said...

Oh, I think I could like that car. The color is so-so but who cares.
Half a bottle of free wine...
Wait, so what are you complaining about? :)

Kovas Palubinskas said...

You need one bottle of wine AND a bottle of water on your run. Be a responsible runner, man!

Adrienne said...

"You'll be rolling off this project" Ha that is PC if I've ever heard it. Ever thought of going into politics. "My mouth fell on a bottle of wine"......definite politician material.

ShutUpandRun said...

Matrix Reloaded.

What do I get for free? Half bottle of wine? Or should I say, whine?

kilax said...

That sounds like a mistake you don't make twice! (the wine). Yikes! I can't imagine running like that. Of course, you still kicked the run's a$$.

We love Infiniti (and Nissan in general). We used to have G35 (had to sell it) but I still have my FX35 (which I love more than I should)... and we have a Datsun in the garage. Those Infinitis sounds so beautiful. Rarrrwww!!

Jill said...

I didn't even know rental car company HAD Infinities, cool! I guess those aren't available in the "economy size" which is where us pee-ons have to rent.

funderson said...

Yeah...what's wrong with shakey weights??

Spike said...

any long MP run followed within 12 hours of a tempo run will always equal suck ass. Just the rules of running.

Her Name is Rio said...

How do you do tempo back to back with a MP run? Amazing!

Chris K said...

Andrew always brings it with his comments, eh? Look, the dehydration thing happens to the best of us. What will be really stupid is if you didn't learn your lesson and do it again.

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

Funny post man, you had me at Shaker Weight Purchaser!! How the HELL do you run & find time to run as a mangement consultant jetting from place to place? I can barely get a grip on it and I have two feet on the ground constantly (well maybe not constantly, I am a bit clumsy). Your "Slow Ass, Marathon Idioit Pace" is WAY faster than mine, not even sure I can aspire to that! Nice work either way!!

Colin Hayes said...

Good luck with the "roll off".

And I invented shaker weights back in college. However, they looked like beer cans. I'd shake them (out of sight), then hand them to my 'friends'. Then I'd transition directly into anaerobic sprints.

Tricia said...

mouth "accidentally" fell on things? does that excuse actually work? I'm keeping it in mind

Tricia said...

yeah I'm back :)

pretty sure that comment didn't come out right

meant in a non-gutter minded way of course

oh, and Hi hubs, if youre reading

Dr. TriRunner said...

If that car is like wiping your ass with silk... then I think my car would be the equivalent of wiping with steel wool. Time to upgrade...

Dr. TriRunner said...

but hey... I bet Nuun still dissolves in wine. Best of both worlds. DOUBLE DOG DARE you to try it. :D

Anonymous said...

interesting, thanks