Friday, October 23, 2009

Complaint – Luna Bars

I’ve got a bone to pick with Luna Bars**. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t the taste – to quote Kramer on Seinfeld: "Who doesn't like Junior Mints? They're chocolate, they're peppermint, they're delicious!!!" – the same applies to Luna Bars. In fact, if anyone from Luna Bar would like to give me some ‘samples’ to test, I would be more than happy to write a glowing yet fair and balanced review for everyone to read.

However, every time I go to buy one either in the airport or in Target, I can’t help but think that I am doing something wrong. I feel like I am 19 trying to by beer or 16 trying to force my voice lower to buy the latest issue of Playboy – for the articles. Check it out:



The whole nutrition bar for women!? Since when did eating something that tasted good also require having a vagina?

I’ll admit, there are things that should be separated one gender from the other. Women have their cute cut shapely T-Shirts while guys have their baggy regular shirts, girls have bras while guys have bros, but FOOD!? I (half heartedly) tried to find an energy bar or granola bar that advertised itself as being strictly for men. Nothing. In fact, the makers of Luna bars are also the makers of Clif bars (will accept free samples of those too). While I will admit that Clif bars sure do LOOK like something guys would eat, they don’t specifically call out “no girls allowed” on the package.

Although, it did get me thinking about what an energy bar for men would taste / look like. Honestly, it probably would look something like a Clif bar – that is, like a turd. Flavors would probably run the gambit with the top sellers being: Beer, Tabasco, and Stripper Perfume. Any other flavors that I am missing?



**Of course, most of this post is in jest, but that still doesn’t mean that I won’t accept some freebies.

18 comments:

Jamoosh said...

Bacon!

Vincent said...

bacon is a good one. And its true. I like Luna bars as well but yesterday I was out and debating what type of energy bar I wanted, after reading for woman I bought a different bar

RazZDoodle said...

what is this Playboy you speak of?

How 'bout Twice Baked Potato?

Vincent said...

steak flavor, cooked blue

Spike said...

pizza flavor, or tequila flavored...those should work.

just tell people you are buying them for your "friend." they'll understand.

Ace said...

Skip bacon flavored bars. The man version just has a couple strips of bacon in the package.

p.s. Do they make running bro's?
:)

RunnuRMark said...

IT'S A MANSSIERE!!!!
Dude, seriously...you can't be caught buying those woman bars unless you also have a box of tampons in your cart. Are they REALLY that much better than a Clif bar? You should try the Snickers protein bars...yum.

Ted said...

vodka flavored bar is what I need ! There should be an Absolut bar , right ???

Pat said...

Here's what you do. Buy one luna bar. A six pack of your favorite BEvERage. Large bag of doritoes or something similar. Go home. Give the wife the luna bar and take the rest into your man cave for the game.

The Sean said...

I think it is just an expression...?

Mel-2nd Chances said...

haha, never noticed that! guess this is sorta similar to your comment on the Nike Women's race I did last weekend, looking for a male equivalent. I suppose the answer would be the same.. beer! LOL

OhMyLaughter said...

I'm sure a feminist had a hand in the Luna marketing campaign.

You raise a good point. The packaging on that bar almost screams "No men/boys allowed." Why?

But then I will say 9 out of 10 beer ads are aimed at guys. They just are. So guess its just how our world works.

Barry said...

THIS feminist doesn't care too much about marketing for Luna bars because all those bars are is marketing. I heard a guy once say that you get the same nutritional value from a snickers as a powerbar. Sounds funny so it must be true! Sugar is sugar I suppose. Marketing baby!!

Girls get no sympathy from me though. You all can waltz around in mens underwear and people say it's cute, even sexy. I don't normally have a desire to wear womens underwear but I DO have to watch my every move lest I be dreadfully labeled as gay.

Even well dressed guys can't be heterosexual, they have to be metrosexual. What IS that?

Ulyana said...

I had the exact same question!!!! What makes it so women only? Maybe your (er, your???) period gets more in-sync with the moon (aka Luna)? Shoot, I dunno. I agree, though, they are tasty and they don't look like turds.

sRod said...

Dude, I have the exact same problem. I can't bring myself to buya Luna bar although they are damn delicious. Does Luna understand the opportunity missed due to poor marketing?

Ulyana said...

"poor marketing"

lol

"if you eat this, your balls will shrink"

sorry, i'm not very mature

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