Monday, August 17, 2009

Making it rain.... with cocaine!

Sorry, whenever I think of money and drugs, I think of guys in strip clubs "making it rain" with money. Of course, I have neither "made it rain" nor been to a strip club....but I digress.

I stumbled across this article proving that nearly all money is covered in cocaine. By covered, I of course mean that there was at least 0.006 microns of white gold on each bill. About enough to get a fruit fly high. The CNN article that I read said that this is likely due to people shorting lines of drugs through $100 bills (among others) and cross contamination from those bills touching other money. Do you know what went through my head? Ewww, someone's nose, a druggie no less, was touching my money!

I mean, who cares about the cocaine. Snot money? Gr-oss.

That said, I couldn't help but think of where else my money has been. In fact, there is actually an entire cult like following to answer that specific question. Although, I'd imagine that the people who go to "Where's george.com" don't enter things like "up my (enter orifice here) so it is of little use to me. I'd still like to think that my money has all been sanitized by some other germaphobe just prior to making it to me. of course, the reality is that it has probably been sitting in the ass pocket of a sweaty 400 pound guy. Score.

I am not sure if there are many solutions to this. I remember hearing that part of the problem is that most money is actually less like paper and more like cloth - and therefore very porous. Not very conducive to proper cleaning unless I want to run everything through the washing machine before use. I suppose in the meantime I could get some sort of be-jeweled rubber gloves MJ style and wear those when handling the little green strips of cocaine. That, or I guess I could just sack up and realize that it hasn't killed me yet.


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Got in a solid 4 mile recovery run at a pace of 8:08. The run was quite uneventful with the exception that it was sprinkling the entire time.

This week's mileage won't even crack 40 miles. I feel like I have soo much free time!

7 comments:

Laura said...

Pacing is an AWESOME way to save money on registrations, though I agree it's tough to get started. A lot of race directors I e-mailed wouldn't consider me b/c I didn't have experience (the old "you need to have experience to get experience"). Pacing Blaine and Dane from Biggest Loser at the Country Music Marathon gave me at least something to show, and I was lucky enough to find a race after that (Key Bank Vermont City Marathon) where the race director was willing to take a chance on me as a new pacer. I think a lot also had to do with the number of marathons I had already run, which gave me credibility, as did the fact that I had run that particular race before.

Once you can pace at least one race, though, you'll be able to cite how close you were to your goal time, and I've found that it's very easy from then on.

Hope that helps!

Pat said...

They frown on you making it rain with nickels, so I guess I won't be doing that anymore.

Kidding.

Are you looking to be a pacer in a marathon? The Arizona Roadracers do the pacers for AZ Rock n Roll, as well as other races. Join up, they'll get you the experience.

Your Wife said...

Um, so why is it ok for you to talk about snot money but you don't want to hear my snot stories from school...explain please? :)

Katie said...

Great, I'm already OCD about washing my hands LOL

The Sean said...

This is a conspiracy on behalf of the sanitizer corporations.

sRod said...

So not only only does the more money you have mean the more problems you see, but it also means the more cocaine you have. Interesting.

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