It is that time of year. When I can no longer control my urges. Heroin? Meth? Oh no, far too expensive. I am way too cheap for any of those. You see, every time I am in Target this time of year I get the shakes.
My name is Adam and I have a problem with office/school supplies.
I am not sure what it is, but I LOVE checking out the office supplies section. I've been known to go to OfficeMax while my wife shops in a nearby store and just 'take it all in'. I love the way they look, with promises of organizational efficiency, but probably most importantly I love the way they smell. They even SMELL like I could get some major collating done.
This time of year all of the major department stores have isles and isles filled with school supplies. Normally, little school kids are running about (undoubtedly with sticky hands and runny noses) trying to get the biggest / best trapper-keeper that they can get their sticky little mitts on. All that I can do is stare at them in jealousy - ever conscious of becoming the creepy old guy who likes to look at little school kids in Target.
Of course, I often times have to balance my feelings for office supplies with my ever increasing fear of fatherhood. Lest I spend too much time hanging out with a bunch of little kids and "get the urge" to have a few of my own.
So, as much as it takes all of my willpower, I shuffle along. Not able to get my own sticky mitts on any of the unicorn or Power Ranger folders. But, trust me when I say, as soon as those kids are back in school I'll be there snapping up 50% off packages of rainbow pencils.