Friday, June 19, 2009

Gross and Bizarre Plane Ride

Last night, on my flight to Phoenix from Atlanta, I had one of the most strange and gross things happen to me. Of course, I thought that I'd share!

The flight was full and I was in an isle seat. We had just leveled off so I decided to crack open my crisp USA Today newspaper. I can almost smell the newspaper now.... Clean, crisp, informative, mmmm. No sooner had I cracked the front page of the front section when the guy in the middle seat next to me asks, "Mind if we share the paper?" "Sure!" I said being the normally friendly guy I am, "I have no problem with that at all!" What I SHOULD have said was "I'll give you the sections as I read them". I'm sure that I'm not the only one that likes to be the first one to read a paper all freshly folded. Never the less, I threw the remainder of the paper at him.

About 5 minutes later, out of the corner of my eye I see middle seat guy scratching his nose and proceed to wipe a bit of snot onto the top of a page of the newspaper that I had not read. A SECTION THAT I HAD NOT READ!!! I was so flabbergasted that I didn't know what to say. I was feeling a range of emotions ranging from shock, horror, and disgust. Sort of the way I envision a little kid feeling when he finds out for the first time where babies REALLY come from.

For the remainder of the 4 hour flight, I sat there in a state of shock and awe. He eventually asked if I wanted the paper back and I kindly refused. I've got enough snot on my hands from running thank you very much.

As if that weren't offending enough, as we were standing to get off of the flight and I was getting my suitcase down from the overhead, he tried to sneak past me when it was our turn to leave! So, I promptly gave my suitcase a purposefully quick jerk which sent it flying into his head. "Opps, sorry there watch your head" I mumbled.

Blow your nose next time before you get on the flight - and maybe put some ice on that head.

7 comments:

Ulyana said...

wtf... gross, i'm glad you "dropped" the suitcase on his head.

Rural Runner E said...

LMAO....now that is funny, gross, and I am glad it happened to you and not me....he got off easy...you had every right to take him out back and beat him silly

Michelle said...

Ummm ewwwww!!!

Kelly said...

Blehhhhh. I HATE flying, and you remind me why at least once a week.

OhMyLaughter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OhMyLaughter said...

Oh my goshhhh... that is what the airline magazines and catalogs are for douchebag!

I'm so tempted to ask what section. Tell me it wasn't sports?! :(

You should have picked your nose and wiped it on what he was reading ;) Hitting him on the head with your suitcase sounds like sweet enough revenge though.

sRod said...

That is gross! Glad you gave him that well-deserved bump