First Class

I fly a lot. During any given year, I’ll take 35-40 round trip flights. As a result, I accumulate a LOT of frequent flyer miles. Up until recently, this just meant that I didn’t have to pay to visit exotic locals friends or family. (SCORE!!) However, last week something very different happened. I made Silver Status on Delta.

What does Silver Status give me? You ask? Well, when I looked hoping to find automatic entry to the mile high club (I checked – nope), I basically found that I get more bonus miles when I fly. Well, that and I am eligible for first class upgrades. Yes, THAT first class. You know, those snooty people that the airline forces you walk past as they are sipping their mimosas? They make me want to punch them in the face every time. I am one of those people now! I think that I am going to start wearing a hockey mask when everyone else is boarding just in case.

Ever sense I made silver status, I have been upgraded to first class. I’m two for two!! Let me tell you, it is niiiiiice. It has been like “The Beverly Hillbillies go to Maui”. Although, I have tried to keep my overalls buttoned up. I was talking to my wife the other day and we both agreed that we were both quite ignorant as to the level of service in first class. That is, not only was I served a full hot breakfast, but I also had all the drinks I could stand, and was practically force fed pretzels and peanuts. Shit, they even had REAL silverware. I could hardly stand it.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not a very fancy guy. I have my moments (e.g. my watch) but am generally pretty low maintenance. I don’t dry clean anything and I certainly don’t drive a very nice car. However, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy some top notch service while on my 4 hour flight to and from Phoenix courtesy of my buddies over at Delta.

Now that everyone has heard about my awesome experience in first class, everyone can now feel free to mentally kick me in the junk / poke pins into the crotch of their Adam Voodoo dolls.