Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Cheerleaders and 5:30am flights

…Don’t mix.  Period.

As I know that I’ve mentioned before, my Monday morning flight has a departure time of 5:30 AM.  That means, to make my flight, I need to roll into the airport around 4:50 AM.  Here are a few examples to give you an idea of my mental state that early in the morning:
  • I often forget where my car is parked…even though I park in nearly the same spot each week
  • I usually have a panic attack on the drive to the airport that I forgot my laptop/coat/sex swing/notebook/client badge/etc
  • I am fairly certain that I could get pulled over for reckless driving (thank god for cruise control!)
  • In the past, I’ve went to the wrong gate for my flight
  • I am a VERY talkative person and I talk to no one

All of that and I am a morning person!!

This week was no exception.  Total daze.  So, imagine my surprise when I started to see women (for some reason really short women….strange) in matching Chiefs Cheerleader Jennifer Lopez style tracksuits.  It started out as two, but eventually it turned into about 40.  They were about as chipper as you would expect, giggling and bouncing around while in the security line.  I wanted to punch them in the face.  Or barf.  OR maybe barf in their face!  Even better.

It only got worse when they were in the confined area of the airplane.  Thank god I was in the back.  It was like they were on crack!  Bouncing off of the walls like they just snorted a line of coke.  I was really starting to wonder if the Chiefs require their cheerleaders to take drug tests.  I’d better spend a few hours on the cheerleader’s website figuring that out. :)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as red blooded as the rest of them, but for some reason I feel that seeing all of these girls would have been much better had there been sports in the background and beer in hand.  I was able to snap a camera phone pic of about a third of them when I got off the plane in Atlanta.


Marcy said...

I'm shocked. They didn't jump up and down (excuse me I mean bounce their hooters) or anything like that to make you happy?

Also what is this sex swing that you speak of? ;-) You big perv! :P

Kelly said...

Good to see that I'm not the only one that caught the 'sex swing' comment.

And come on... those girls look hot!

Michelle said...

SEX SWING!! Those are fun!! Well, not like I know but I've heard!!

It must have been one fun plane right OR NOT!!

sRod said...

Sounds like the one time I got stuck in front of three very loud teenagers on a red eye from LA to NY. The kids would not shut up the whole flight. I wanted to punch them all in face by the time we touched down at LaGuardia.

Pat said...

Interesting that the three comments about your sex swing are from ladies. I'm just sayin'.

I guess you could have barrowed one from one of the cheerleaders.