Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sham-wo…uhoh

As if he wasn’t creepy enough, last night I heard that Vince Offer, the Sham-wow guy, was picked up for beating the shit out of a prostitute. So the story goes, he was receiving services from the lady of the night when she bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go. Ha! Let’s be honest…. Haven’t we ALL wanted to bite this guys tongue at one point or another? I can only assume my buddy Vince was going at it, wearing nothing but his Britney Spears style microphone, trying to get the hooker to upgrade from 4 large Shamwows to 8 large Shamwows with 4 small Shamwows thrown in for free – perfect for the bathroom or smaller messes!

What has this world come to when someone who is as much of a stud muffin as Vince needs to pay for some genital to genital contact? I would have thought that there would have been loads of women (and some guys) throwing themselves at him during his trade show style show. “Oh my goshhhh. Your felt cloth can soak up 2L of coke!? Do me now, Shamwow!!”

Speaking of bad commercials, what is up with Gieco lately? I used to love the caveman series of commercials. For that matter, the little lizard guy wasn’t that bad either – I liked his accent.

But WTF is the deal with this money making googly eyes at me? The money I could be saving with Gieco? I’m no marketing expert, but I imagine that it was getting late and the commercial writters didn’t have any good ideas. So, they dug into the marketing goody bag, found some googly eyes, slapped them on some money and called it good. Actually, now that I think about it I think I should have been in marketing. I could come up with a million shitty ideas like that a week! I’d be a millionaire!


9 comments:

Marcy said...

I heard the same thing about the Sham Wow dude a couple days ago. That shiz is too dayum funny! All eyes are on Billy Mays for the next fiasco HAHA!

Kelly said...

Yeah, the Shamwow story is true... it was on the news and they had an "after" photo of the girl. The biggest surprise to me wasn't that he would do that to someone, but that he was STRAIGHT. Who knew?!

Adam said...

Kelly - LOL, how true is that?? I actually assumed he rolled in the nursing home market. I could realy seem him sweet talking my grandma out of her money.

Pat said...

I guess he's lucky it was his tongue she bit and wouldn't let go of.

Michelle said...

Here is hoping he is out of commission for a while. A long while!! Dude is creepy!!

RazZDoodle said...

I have a small amount of ad experience and my wife has at least 10 years in the biz. The new Geico spots make no effing sense.

Home Away said...

haha! i totally didn't know that. what does it say about me that i apparently get news updates from your blog? lol and i totally agree about the geico googly eyes. lame! the gecko is my favorite.

sRod said...

This is some trashtastic writing. Borrowing a bit from Marcy?

Completely agree with the Geico dollar commercials. They are weird and I don't quite understand them. And I work in advertising, so that is honest to goodness criticism.

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