Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Wedded Bliss

Memo to couples getting married at 3 pm on a Friday: There is no chance I am attending the ceremony. Memo to couples with a 5 hour break between wedding ceremony and reception: I am showing up to the reception plastered. Memo to couples getting married on a holiday weekend in the summer: I hate you.

Sidenote to my married/engaged/taken friends. Please, for the love of god, stop telling me I'll find the one when I'm "not looking." I am always looking and you know what, you were too when you met your "soulmate" and slept with him in a drunken state the first night you met him.

I realized today that I'm that weird roommate from craigslist. Both of my roommates are relatively normal 9-5ers, light drinkers, and mild mannered people. I get drunk on tuesday afternoons, sleep all day, and have lax standards about personal hygiene. Fuck it, I like this apartment and I'm not leaving.