Thursday, August 21, 2008

Husband Manual 101: Chapter 2 – Say Nothing

I wanted to follow up Chapter one of the husband manual with another chapter that is just as important. Chapter two will focus on teaching husbands when to just shut up and not say a word. I was GOING to say shut up and listen, but honestly listening isn’t as important as not saying anything at all.

This is most important when a wife is presenting a problem. Conventional wisdom would suggest that she would want her issue solved. Oh no. If anything, the husband manual will systematically explain how conventional wisdom almost never applies when it comes to women. For guys, CW says that if another guy is complaining about something, you help them fix it. It doesn’t matter if the guy complaining is the US Ambassador to the Ukraine and the issue is with foreign relations – every guy has some input that he can share. However, when a woman is presenting a problem, it is usually just to vent. Again, I don’t care if your wife is having trouble picking her backup running back for the weeks when Larry Johnson is not playing – do not try to solve her issue.

Rather than solving the issue, husbands should try saying some of these comments at regular intervals:

  • What do you think about that?

  • How does that make you feel?

  • I agree.

  • (Insert name of wife’s close friend here) is dumb.

  • Can you believe how cute Brad and Angelia's babies are?

  • Did you hear about that money truck that went by our house yesterday while you were sleeping?


OhMyLaughter said...


Those responses are so hilarious!