Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Prostitute or consultant?

I think that 95% of these are totally true!!

  • You work very odd hours.
  • You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
  • You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
  • You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
  • You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
  • You are not proud of what you do.
  • Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
  • It's difficult to have a family.
  • You have no job satisfaction.
  • If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
  • You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
  • People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
  • Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
  • Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
  • Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
  • Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
  • You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
  • When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
  • You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
  • Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
  • The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
  • When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

435 Miles

That is right: 435 miles. That is the distance that I will run as part of my training schedule for the marathon NOT including the marathon itself. *whew*

That said, I am in week two of the training. So far it has been going pretty well. The interesting thing is that I am trying to pick up my speed. I ran the previous race with a pace of 9:07 min miles. I would LIKE to pick that up to around 8:00 min miles. We'll see how that goes - I have been able to do it for 6 miles so far, but I was pretty gassed at the end. Ironically, the issue isn't that I don't think that I can't do it, it is just that I am having a hard time getting my internal speedometer set to 8:00. I may just have to get a good treadmill after all.

Two weeks down, 16 to go!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Christmas Card Picture

So, Tiff just called asking what picture I should use for the Christmas card this year. Well, I thought long and hard and I think that I found three winners. I figure that we can just paste them all together into a Christmas collage. Thoughts? Either that, or I guess I could solicit votes to see who was the winner. I know which one I AM voting for!

Winter in the Country

Every so often, I run across a picture that was taken at the perfect time in a bizarre location. The picture below is a great example of this. The picture was taken in north east Iowa during the very first snow of winter. Per my buddy Nick, who took the picture, it is a hunting lodge that he sometimes uses while he is deer hunting. He was there sighting in his shotgun with his dad and noticed that the snow was starting to accumulate.

Happy Winter everyone, it isn't nearly as bad as everyone makes it out to be :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Book Review - Big Russ and Me

I recently (ok, it was a while ago, but I have been busy) read Tim Russert’s book: Big Russ and Me. It is essentially an autobiography with emphasis on how is father helped to shape his life.

The book follows Tim through his childhood as a catholic schoolboy. His father worked two jobs with the sanitation department to make sure that his children had everything they needed. This is something that I can relate to: fathers working hard to make sure that all is right with the family. It also follows Tim’s rise to the top of the Washington political scene with the help of his dad – always telling him to ‘keep it simple’.

Overall I liked this book a lot. For some reason I am somewhat of a voyeur, with interests in all things reality, and therefore really enjoyed the personal touches that Tim put on all of his stories. I think that we could probably all use a bit of our father’s advice in our lives. Probably not verbatim advice mind you – but taking the overall intent and applying it to our everyday lives.

I gave this book three out of five Shakespeare heads.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Fries with that

Full disclosure: I worked in fast food during the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year of college. AND, I would like to think that I was the best drive through attendant that most had ever seen! I am sure that the reality is that I got just as many orders wrong as anyone else had in that same position.

That said, during the past week I had a pretty comical conversation with the drive though (or park through?) attendant at Sonic:

Adam: I would like a #4, no tomatoes, tator tots, and could I get a diet cherry lime aid for my drink?
Attendant: Ok, so I have a #4, with fries and a diet coke?
Adam: No. I said a #4, no tomatoes, tator tots and a diet cherry lime aid.
Attendant: Ok, got it.
Adam: Are you sure?
Attendant: Your total is $6.46
Adam: Umm, hmm.

So, when my food arrived? #4, lots of tomatoes, tots, and a diet coke. Meh – no worries. I guess he must have been trying to get with one of the little waiter girls or something.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Snow = Good; Winter = Bad

It is official - I can't wait for the first snow. That is not to say that I want WINTER. Good gracious no. In fact, if there is some way that I could get snow w/out the slush and crap, I would for certain buy two.

Traveling for Work

As a good little worker bee, I travel fairly extensively for work. That means, that I usually am away from home for +/- 2 weeks a month. For some people this would be a definite "con" of the job and for many it is - our turnover rate is something crazy like 20% annually.

Oddly though, I don't mind so long as my wife doesn't mind. *meh*

The funny thing is how wrong people are when they hear
that I travel for work. Usually people (wife included) take one or more of the
following stances. They:

  1. Can't believe that my company pays for it.

While sometimes I am surprised at what my company will pay for, I'll argue all night long from the comforts of my Marriott hotel that I am totally worth every
penny. Mmmm, club lounge cookies......

  1. Think that it is a non-stop kegger while I am away.

The people who think that it is a non-stopped kegger are totally off base. After all, we do drink jagerbombs on occasion as well.

  1. Think that I do all sorts of site seeing to various destinations.

I don't site see. After all, the only thing worthwhile in the places that I visit is this.

  1. Think that I need to visit any and all relatives within a 200 mile radius.

I am frustrated that relatives don't make an effort to come and see me. Until my great uncle Billy makes the trip to KC, he can continue to imagine from afar.

Regardless, I enjoy the work that I do - and more importantly the people that I work with. Without them, the jagerbombs just wouldn't be the same.

Friday, October 26, 2007

This is a test message

Here is where I would write about how cool and interesting I am. Afterall, who WOULDN"T want to learn about me!?!??!? :)