Funny Foto Friday: Valentines E Cards

Before we get to the hilarity, a quick running update.  In short: I'm Back To Running!  I think that I've finally rehabbed my knee (read: slept in a few days and didn't run, put an ice bag on it a handful of times) and only have mild soreness that even I (with my horribly weak pain tolerance) can run through.

The big test today was a 10 mile general aerobic run that I was able crank out with an overall pace of 7:35.  Of course, that is 100% based off of the stopwatch feature because my Garmin dropped it's GPS signal just past halfway through the run.  Does anyone have any thoughts on the Garmin 610 vs the Garmin 910?

This week's funny foto friday is in celebration of Valentines day.  It seems that people's feelings for Valentines day (with some exceptions) fall into three categories.  Either you're: a committed girl and you LOVE everything red, hearts, chocolate; you're a single girl and think it is annoying, or you're a guy.  Obviously, I must be the exception because I LOVE pampering my wife with the attention she obviously deserves.  Right?? Right?? :)

Anyway, SomeEcards.com put together a few alternative cards that has a little something for everyone.  Happy Friday!

Humility: Only a Race Photo Away

Bloggers like attention.  Every few days, we sit down and type out wonderfully crafted stories about the goings on in our lives just knowing that everyone will think that it is the best story ever.  (I mean, at least that is what I think.)  Every so often though, we get handed a story so embarrassing that we know that there is no way that we could post it.  But, of course, we remember how well crafted our other stories are so decide to post it anyway.   This afternoon, instead of a slice of humble pie, I received the “she loves him instead of me so I’m going to eat my way stupid” size piece of humble pie.  You see my blogger friends, I take HORRIBLE race pictures (as also seen here), and today I found some doozies that would make even the most boastful person blush.

While talking with a friend about which race photo they should buy, I mentioned that I take such horrible race photos that I don’t even bother looking at them anymore.  My expression is usually a mix between pain, constipation, surprise, and that look that President George W Bush had on his face when someone asks him a tough question (fear).

While I could take all of the “credit” I have to admit, it is partly the race photographer’s fault.  They never seem to be at mile 3 when everyone isn’t covered with sweat, spit, Gatorade, and a look of desperation (Also, how I looked at most high school dances).  Instead, they camp out at mile 20.   The thought process is that racers will be more apt to buy a picture of just themselves vs a picture of them with some 75 year old woman with leggings blasting past.  In practice, they end up with pictures of people doing the walk of shame.

What follows is my own personal Rock and Roll Arizona walk of shame - and my thought process as I went through my race pictures (race report here) this afternoon.

The pictures always start out really good.  Running along, good form...

Ok, I didn't notice the camera, but that is fine I'll get it in the next one

 Opps, didn't notice it here either.  Crap.  

Maybe they should put some blinking lights on the camera guys?

 Oh god, what is going on here?  Certainly they must have caught me at a bad moment.

Was I yawning? People don't yawn during marathons, do they? And why was I yawning with my bottom lip?

 Oh wow.  Yup, that is pretty much how I remember it.  Pain, lots of pain - mixed with constipation.  

Although, I don't remember eating a lot of cheese?

Did I get kicked in the junk?

Oh come ON!? They don't get any better??   

Although if you look at my face upside down - totally smiling. That is weird.

 Finally, the last picture.  I can only assume that this was some sort of euphoric high?  

I'll bet there was LSD in the Gatorade. 

With pictures like those – Karma sure as hell had better have SOMETHING good coming my way.   I’d better buy a lottery ticket.  You can’t be too sure.

Come on, I can’t be the only person with bad race pictures, right??

The Superbowl and Running

Even if you’re not a (an American) football fan, hang with me for a moment, this relates to running.....

Yesterday, based on the television ratings, 35% of men, women, and children in the United States were watching one thing: Madonna, waiting for a wardrobe malfunction The SuperBowl. (And based on the Twitter updates, the people who weren’t watching were trying their damnest to let everyone know that they weren’t.)

I watched the game in the comfort of my own home, keeping my micro-brew black and tan tradition alive:

With all the amenities that anyone could need:

• Old man recliner - to remind myself that the football players are mostly younger than me
• Football – to remind myself that I have small little girl hands that can barely hold on to a football
• Remote – for muting the TV during Madonna’s halftime show
• Corns on each foot – wait, not sure what those are for
• Big stupid grin – Perfect for blog posting
• Beer – The always accessory

The commercials this year were just “OK”.  Nothing stood out in my mind, but I have to admit that I laughed pretty hard at the naked M&M one:


Oh right, the tie back to running......  One of the best teams this year was the Green Bay Packers.  They had the best record in the NFL, the NFL MVP, and were riding a wave of good luck that didn’t seem to end.  But, no cheerleaders. WTF? However, even after they had won 13 games in a row, they lost to one of the worst teams in the league.  It didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things but everyone called it a “wake up call” and that it was “exactly what they needed at that point to generate that added drive to want to win”.  Of course, they didn’t end up making it to the finish, so maybe they weren’t the BEST example.....

I was thinking during hour 3 of the pre-game show on Sunday that my current knee injury is exactly like the Packers’ loss.  My knee injury has finally given me the reason to focus on strengthening the supporting structures that I had been lacking before.  Before, quite simply, nothing hurt so I had ZERO motivation to do anything but run.  But now, it is like a rerun of the 700 Club.  I have seen the light!  Squats, lunges, and plyometrics are all on the agenda not to mention core and upper body to round out my look good naked runner Physique.

I’m reminded of a story about US Olympic Marathon Trials winner Meb Keflezighi.  During the NYC marathon in 2011, Meb had forgotten a Breath Right strip in his shoe. He wears them to help him breath and had forgotten to put it on at the start.  As you can imagine, it rubbed against his foot and created a huge cut – that got crazy infected and forced him to take nearly 3 weeks off prior to his training for the Olympic Marathon Trials.  THREE WEEKS! He later said in hindsight that the extra rest probably helped him avoid overtraining.  He said that because of his infection, he took the time to recover and really hit his training hard for the weeks that he had remaining.

So, in spite of a small setback this weekend with my knee, I’m going to continue to strive forward – hoping to channel my inner Meb to a triumphant return.

Funny Foto Friday: Sleeping Baby = Kick to the Face

I recently ran across the website howtobeadad.com that is a collection of hilarious, witty, and I'll be darned if it isn't useful information for and about Dads.  So, while females/moms have the runner-mommy, blog her, stroller moms, etc etc etc....we've got this.

In a series of recent posts, they posted what it is like to sleep with a baby.  We've only done it once for an hour or so when I was too tired to drag my ass out of the bed, but my son seeded to bounce back and forth between RoundHouse Kick and "the stalker".  Ugh.  Happy Friday!

Bonus!  Along the same baby lines.....  I just found this one hilarious. :)

2012 New Years Resolutions

Throughout my 30 years on this earth, I’ve learned that there are certain topics that divide people.  Topics that, no matter how small the sample size, there are always two very specific viewpoints:

• Words: Color Vs. . . Colour? 
• Money: I like to save vs. . . 28 payments for a new TV? 18% interest!? Sign me up!  What could go wrong!?
• Anderson Cooper: Ok seriously, what “team” does he play for?  (Like it matters, the dude has arms like tree trunks!)
• New Years Resolutions: Yay!  New year, new underwear, new life!  Changes start NOW!!!!  Vs. . .  I’m going to live my resolutions EVERY day.

Like I’ve said in the past, I’m the resolutions/goal setting type.  I like to set a bar, often too high, and then sell my soul (sell my sole? Har har – running humor) to try to achieve them.  My mantra  has always been that if you hit more than 50% of your goals, you’re not setting them high enough.  Don’t get me wrong though, I’ve been known to trip over a few ankle-high “goal bars” and belly flop onto the curb of success more than once.  But, more often than not, I grab hold of one of those huge pole vault deals, strap on some booty shorts, and try to clear 14 feet.  Here, are my 2012 goals and resolutions - all 14 feet of them.


Push Up Challenge
To prove how well rounded I am, I’m starting out with a non-running goal!  I heard about this one on Twitter.  Simply, every other day, you do 2 more pushups (“Press-ups” to those across the pond – I’m so cultured) than two days before.  So, on Jan 1, I did 1 pushup. Today, February 2, I did 33 pushups.  And, on December 31st, I will do 356 pushups, (33,480 for the year) shit my pants, and die of exhaustion.  At least, that is what I think will happen.  The thought here is that, runners myself included, have long abandoned any upper body workouts.  We’re content with T-Rex dinosaur arms and stringy powerful legs.  I want to change that and work on my boob muscles a bit.

100 miles per week

During the last two marathon cycles, I’ve said bye bye to my family and dove head first with running reached upwards and upwards with my running mileage.  I ultimately peaked at a total of 70 miles per week for a number of weeks.  I can certainly feel the benefits of the increased miles in my endurance.  But, how far up is too far?  I once thought 50 miles was high.  Now 70 doesn't seem to phase me. What about 100 miles?  All that I would have to do would be to run 70 miles like I have before (in the mornings) and add 5 miles each night.  Piece of cake! And, based on how much I’d be running, lots of cake would be consumed.


Complete 1 Race a month
I really need to race more.  Racing is fun, a great way to connect with other runners, serves as good speedwork, and quite honestly the only way I expand my running wardrobe.  I might not be able to complete an “official” race every month, but there is no reason why I can’t go to the track and run 3.1 miles ALL OUT every 4 weeks and take ridiculous pictures in the process.


Volunteer in at least one Race
I can admit it – I’m not nearly as philanthropic as I should be.  There is 100% no reason why I can’t do this.  Honestly, there is no reason why this shouldn’t be a higher goal.

Keep this guy out of trouble (as he is playing with an OPEN Cheerios box)

Coach to the best of my ability
Ok, I'm not going to out myself as a bad coach in my year in review post.  But I would be lying to myself if I didn't have an internal goal to continue to be the best running coach that I can be to all of my athletes.  I have a swanky RRCA certification but (much) more importantly, I want to continue to expand my knowledge of the way we work and how to squeeze the last bit of go-juice out of each and every one of us.

PR in 5K (Sub 18:00)
In spite of my lofty mileage goal, I’d really love to race a 5K all out.  I haven’t done it since late spring last year and I feel like I have at least a minute of untapped speed just begging to be stripped from my PR.  There is always a balance because I enjoy nothing more than running 5Ks with my family – but at least a few times this year I need to run one FAST.

PR in the Half Marathon (Sub 1:29)
This goal is sort of a gimmie because I really want to race a few half marathons as part of marathon training.  I’ve ran 1:34 halves as part of a number of marathons (and then blew up) so I honestly think this one should be in the bag.  I just hope I don’t trip over the low bar goal and fall flat on my face.

Boston Qualify
If the Boston Marathon was my cousin, I’d kiss it on the mouth. And post pictures on my blog.  While most people in their mid thirties will scoff at this, I feel father time tapping me on the shoulder and saying “Yup, ‘bout time to do some ass dragging and wrinkle growing”.  In the back of my head, I can’t get the nagging feeling that my fastest days are NOW.  So, I have to go for it.  I’m redoubling my efforts, eating well better, doing the core work and cross training that I need to be doing, and laying it all on the line.  Afterall, just like I said for my Rock and Roll AZ Race Report, going for high goals leads to one of two things: Huge PRs or spectacular failures. . . and both are excellent blog posts.

Riding the bike makes me feel SLOW

First, I’m continuing to tabulate the results on the FYTO5K!  The number of participants completely exceeded every expectation that I could have had.  So, while during “in person” races you get a medal, tshirt, and nearly instant chip-timed results online. . . . During the virtual FYTO5K, you get no medal, shirt, and a pretty solid 4 or 5 day wait for the results.  Hooray!
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Some of you might have noticed that I haven’t been the best running cheerleader over the past 5 days or so.  (Who am I kidding, no one reads this.  Doesn’t everyone just look at the pictures, like me?) Truth is, I hurt my knee a week ago today and have been putting the brakes on the ‘ol endorphin express.  So, instead of the blond homecoming cheerleader, I’ve been sort of like one of those “my daddy doesn’t love me” cheerleaders.  I can be honest – my relationship with running is a fickle beast.  One with euphoric highs, and hormone induced “WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME” lows.

The issue is my knee.  I pushed a little too hard a little too fast after my last marathon and aggravated some chronic “runners knee” that I’ve always had lingering.  No worries though, rest, ice, and a little ass-to-couch time was all it needed. (Also needed? A little complaining/venting to a close friend.)   In fact, I’m well on my way to recovery. You see, this last night and this morning I RODE MY BIKE!!

This is why I'm hot
Duckface? Check, Old long sleeve T? Check

Last night I went for a quick 20-30 minute test ride and this morning I went on a solid 45 minute ride through the streets of my neighborhood to see how my knee would react.  The GREAT news is that it feels fine and I think that I am going to be able to get a few light runs in this week and be back at full speed next week.  The bad news?  I am SLOW on the bike – and I look like an idiot in “bike gear”.

My running form and speed is all about economy.  I use very little energy to propel myself forward and therefore don’t have a lot of “bulk” to any part of my body (except for the parts that “count” – heh).  Unfortunately, high leg strength is one of the easiest ways to be fast on the bike.  Leg strength I don’t gots.  That translates to me being able to  run a 10+ mph 5K time (18:30ish), but a 15 MPH, 12 mile bike ride this morning.  How can I not be much faster running than on a bike!?

Of course, the solution is easy: steroids I need to ride the bike more and build up my leg muscles.  I’m not going to cut out any of my running, but I might add a few bike rides here and there at night to keep my legs guessing and my muscles building.  Oh, and I’m going to buy spandex.  Lots and lots of bright colorful spandex.  Oh, and a sperm shaped hat.  And maybe some carbon fiber stuff.