Friday, March 20, 2015

Funny Foto Friday: The fish was coming onto ME

Quick update on my running because (through the magic of the internet) I'm currently on a flight to Colorado! I'm trying to remember how long it has been since I've seen snow and I think it has to have been between 16-18 months ago.  It will be a shock to the system for sure.  No guarantee that I won't pee in the snow make snow angels.

Physical Therapy (really, more of Active Release Therapy) is going well. I went both Tues and Thurs of this week and each time I can feel that he is doing stuff, but it certainly aches afterwards (which, he said is normal).  However, since my issues are in my upper hamstring and glute, I basically pay someone $75 to rub my ass for 30 min. I have to think that there are WAY cheaper places to go to get that kind of service. Craigslist, probably. 

Anywhoo, I've been busier than the poor soul who has to airbrush Kim Kardashian's Instagram photos so I honestly wouldn't have had a ton of time to run even if I could.  Silver lining I suppose.  ON TO THE FUNNY!

Look, I can't help that EVERYONE thinks I have soft, kissable lips.
Isn't having big fish lips in fashion?


IT BETTER NOT! They might lose their eligibility! 


How I end every work email: Finally, get off my lawn.


Finally, a picture of my son. Who, is NOT sick in this picture... Just very very comfy. Happy Friday!

Daddy, bring me my chopstick!! (Chapstick)

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Butt Hurt

I've been butt hurt more times than I would admit: A few years back when they stopped selling French Toast Crunch cereal, when my son tells me that he loves Paw Patrol more than he does me Transformers, and even when the Starbucks guy thought that only TWO pumps of creme brulee syrup was going to be enough (seriously, what was that guy on???? Everyone knows that four is the appropriate amount!!!  Ugh).  But I'll admit that I had rarely been butt hurt by running. That is, until a few weeks back.  Like I bitched about said before, I am dealing with a bit of pain in my upper hamstring and glute muscles - a literal pain in the ass.  Well, I finally went to the guy with all of the letters behind his name and the results were mostly encouraging with a bit of an ominous caveat.

Ironman sign in the waiting room


After plenty of questions, poking, and heavy petting deep massage he said that I likely had injured something before and had built up a bunch of scar tissue and adhesions among all of the soft bits in the back of my leg and butt (hamstring and glute). It finally gave way and I aggravated it a month or so ago. He said that I'd need to see him 2x a week for a few weeks and after that we can go back to running. HOORAY! Or, rather a test run.......

The reason he said that it would only be a test run is because all of the symptoms I was speaking to also pointed to a hip stress fracture or a femoral neck stress fracture.  Bummer.  Fortunately, he said that with the rest I've already taken and the rest that he is going to make me take, if there was any of that it would be mostly healed by the time I'm running again. As a buddy of mine said today, if that IS the case, it would be my 4th stress fracture.  I have the bones of a brittle old woman.

So, still no running at least through the end of the month. Ugh.  I think the thing that I worry most about isn't not getting to run, it is NOT missing running at all in the first place. During my last two longer injury breaks, after some period of time I got into a routine - one that didn't include the sport I love, foxy boxing. The worst part?  It didn't bother me all that much. It seems that while a habit takes 21 days to form, it takes about 2 months for me to unlearn my running habit. After that time I barely know it exists.

I love running, so I'd rather not lose it KThxBye

Fortunately, the doc said that I could still bike and do essentially anything else I wanted to that was moderately low impact. I'm assuming he meant swimming but LOLZ I don't swim. I'm biking more now than I ever have (110 miles last week, but FAR fewer this week) so hopefully that will keep me firmly addicted to the endurance lifestyle my appetite (and waistline) has come to enjoy.  If not, I suppose there is always Foxy Boxing!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Funny Foto Friday: Swinging Break Time!

Whew! What a week. Work has been so crazy that I barely have enough time to breath. So, instead of long winded posts, you’ll get blurbs between gasps.  Enjoy!!

I booked an appointment with a Physical Therapist / Chiropractor / Active Release Therapy / Acupuncture guy. You should see the number of letters this guy has behind his name. It is like a game of scrabble. DC, ART, AIS, FIAMA ----- WTF!!!  After my super complaining post before, I thought that it was time to actually do something about my stupid leg. Much to my dismay, complaining about it wasn’t fixing it.

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The guy that I am going to came independently recommended by a number of people. (4 people suggested him… probably because they were blinded/confused by the letters after his name.) The only issue? He is “out of network” with my insurance.  I’m not exactly sure how much that means I have to pay him, but I’m guessing that I won’t be able to pay him with my arm and my bad leg, he is probably going to want the good one.

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My son and I went to a karate tournament last weekend (cheering, not participating). The highlights of the trip were obviously the popcorn and hearing my son yell things like “kick her in the face!!!” My son has a bit of bloodlust.

Daddy, I'm going to drink my popcorn through my licorice

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As many weeks as possible, I try to grab coffee with one of my best friends on Saturday morning – usually after a run. Unfortunately, he lives 25 miles away. Since I’m now biking full time, I’m going to take the opportunity to bike there and back tomorrow for a 50+ mile trip. I’m not sure if this is a good idea or a terrible one, but I’ll be sure to blog about the adventure. When I told my boss that I was going to do it, he told me to bring cab fare as a backup. Jerk.

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Finally, I haven’t had a ton of time to mindlessly surf the internet, so here is a random pic I found earlier in the week.  Even the garbage men need a break once in a while.  Happy Friday!

"Honey, how was your day?"
"Oh you know, the usual. Picked up some trash, swung on some swings."

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Injury Update: Running is my missionary position

Unfortunately, there still isn’t an update on my running. My hamstring doesn’t get sore when I bike, but my knee still gets angry if I go for more than an hour. I guess I’ll consider that progress? “The key to a happy and fulfilling life is to set the bar VERY low and beat all (very low) expectations”  -- Motivational tips by Adam, or possibly Homer Simpson.  Right now my fitness expectations are so low that not getting winded while getting another beer from the fridge is considered a success. #Winning

Quick update: I ran 2 miles at dusk last night (pic to the right) and it went okay… but my butt / hamstring are still sore today. Arg.

I really don’t like biking all that much. I don’t have many good reasons to not like it, I just don’t.  I feel like a lot of my complaints stem with all of the new “gear” that you need to bike.  Special shoes, helmet, water bottles, spandex, crotch padding – an equipment list that reads like a chapter in 50 Shades of Gray.  The reality is that I probably have MORE gear for running, I’ve just been used to slogging it all around for the last 10 years. Running is my missionary position. So I suppose I just need to suck it up, strap on my helmet and crotch pad, and dive in. Please sir, may I have another.

My head is HUGE!!
So, begrudgingly I HAVE been biking. I set up my bike trainer in the living room and have been binge watching Netflix.  All the while I’ve been dripping sweat onto a towel I set under the bike, on the floor tile, on the table….. I sweat more than Miley Cyrus in church.  In fact, I think I set a PR for drips coming off my nose on Monday with one coming every 2 seconds (literally). Fortunately, I have been able to keep my heart rate up to mostly what it should be at around 160 BPM which is approx my long run HR.

There are a lot of reasons to LOVE  biking. You can cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time, you get to feel the wind in your hair, you get to be all pompous and not waive at friendly runners, etc. But, for me I feel like biking is a lot like eating brussels sprouts. Sure, they are healthy for you, they even taste good if prepared the right way (read: bacon). But, I’ll be damned if I don’t feel like I’m eating a fart with every single bite. In fact, I think that the love child between the way Brussels sprouts taste and asparagus make my pee smell might be something so terrible it could be used to interrogate Taliban prisoners.

This issue has gone on long enough that I’m going to actually look into professional help. That is a big step for me as I am generally cheap enough that I do NOT like to spend money for someone to tell me to “just rest”. I’m going to look into Active Release / Chiropractor / Physical Therapy and see where that takes me. If nothing else, I hope that they’ll tell me what I am doing wrong and how I can mix things up a bit. Because 10 years of missionary position running is a hard habit to break.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Funny Foto Friday: Fitness Burger

The irony of not running is that I have a lot more time for blogging on my running blog. The double irony is that I don't have a lot to talk about.  Doh.

This hurts my arteries just looking at it.  
Although, you do have to be amazed w/ her hand holding technique. Happy Friday!



Thursday, March 5, 2015

Throwback Thursday: Awkward High School

Running update: There is no running update. Leg still hurts.  Although, I’m trying to hit the bike as much as I can while not regressing.  (Except for today, due to scheduling conflicts. GRR.) 

Swans have that gray furball stage before they become a swan.  Butterflies are ugly caterpillars for most of their lives. Me? I had years 5-33 that seem to have been quite awkward. I’ll grow into my skin eventually.

This weekend I met up with a friend that I went to High School with and she was ever so gracious enough to bring a few pictures of me during my.....shall we say, "awkward" stage.  I don't have many pictures of me looking like this (in spite of having glasses and braces for years and years). These should make EVERYONE feel better about themselves.  Enjoy!

STAND BACK LADIES, the man of your dreams is coming through
If I can’t fix your heart, at least I can fix your computer


Thankfully though, once I shed my Sally Jessy Raphael glasses and braces, I turned into the stud muffin that you all know and love – as long as you can look past the big teeth, big nose, small head, annoying personality…..

Pittsburgh, baby. PITTSBURGH. (I think I've posted this before)
(I have never been to Pittsburgh.)