Funny Foto Friday: Runners and Toliet Paper

Sometimes even the most fun things can be horrible.  For example, take eating candy.  9 times out of 10, eating candy is ah-ma-zing.  It is sugary, fruity or chocolaty, essentially it is a party in your mouth and everyone is invited.  But every so often, you’re munching away on some gobstoppers, someone tells a funny joke and in the midst of swallowing and laughing one of them gets lodged in your throat.  Before you know it you’re trying to do the heimlich maneuver on yourself on the edge of a chair.

Today my run was like choking on a gobstopper.  Or maybe chipping a tooth while trying to eat a tootsie pop after only licking it one time.  Not that I have ever done either of those....

I had 10 easy miles on the schedule.  I got 2 miles in and knew that I had to turn back.  I had shin pain, hamstring tightness, I was a hot mess.  The 2 miles back were a run walk fiasco that I haven’t had in quite some time. But, I know that the next time the gobstopper will be delicious and won’t threaten my life....and tomorrow is another day.

------------------------------------------------


Runners have an interesting relationship with poo.  Or, I guess at least some runners do.  OK, FINE. I DO.  Anyway, to celebrate two of my favorite things running,  here are a few fun Funny Foto Fridays!

I'm totally a "road" guy based on this.  Although, I have been known to bandit

Runners world has lots of these fun daily pictures.  I'd probably subscribe if the magazine was just these for 70 pages.

Seriously, my body feels OLD

Try it Tues: Bud Light: Lime-A-Rita

I’m a pretty normal guy.  I certainly can manscape and accessorize appreciate nice things, but I’m not driving a Ferrari.  I am very tight assed frugal, but I am not holding my pants up with a string. As such, I generally find what works and don’t change a lot day to day. I workout at the same times, I eat the same foods, and yes – I even drink the same drinks.  Everything else is just noise that gets in the way of me drinking the same drinks.

Every so often though, I'll get a bug in my britches and will decide that it is time to branch out and try something new. So far I've tried mangos (pain in the ass) and sweet potatoes (you can make them french fries!!!) but this last week... I tried something that I never thought that I would try: Bud Light Lime-A-Rita.

Lime-A-Rita: A Margarita with a Twist

I think the "twist" is you throwing your back out trying to catch hold of your dignity

We've all seen the commercials on TV.  The late 20s early 30s attractive men and women sitting on the back of a truck or on a beach playing volleyball sipping a nice cold Lime-A-Rita.  They look happy.  They're certainly sexy. High fives all around!!  Obviously their drink has to have SOMETHING to do with their rippling abs and Jennifer Aniston layered hair, right?! So, I splurged at my ghetto Wal-Mart and bought a 24oz "Rita".  Read: I grabbed a can while no one looking and tried to hide it under some salad and diapers like a 16 year old tries to hide condoms.

If a tall boy can of 8% "Rita" doesn't make me cute, I don't know what will

They put it on the side like a badge of honor: "Drink me! MoFo will mess you up!!"

First things first.. Shit was in a BIG can.  I don't know who is pounding 24oz of Bud margarita in one sitting, but whoever they are, they're certainly wearing a tank top with holes in the arm pits or are on their prom night and their mom just "doesn't understand".

Why yes ladies, it really IS that big

Second, I really REALLY hate to say this, like, hate it more than Duck Dynasty hates shaving, but it honestly wasn't that bad.  It tasted like a mix between a Mike's hard lemonade and a margarita - but with more fizz. It tasted nothing like Bud Light.....which honestly makes me think that they really shouldn't put the Bud name on there.  Nothing says "Hey, you should drink this because your dad drinks this" like Bud Light.

Trying my best to class up the 'Rita - pinky first

Truth be told though, I don't have anything against Bud. With the increase of micro-breweries, they're an easy target to represent "the man". In fact, I have Bud Light in my fridge right now, but I also have 4 or so different kinds of micro brew beer too.  Oh, also I have some left over Lime-A-Rita.

Ok seriously, I think THIS is how a Bud Light is supposed to be drank

Just relax your throat

(self shot photo for the win!)

Overall, I think Bud has their work cut out for them.  When I think of margaritas, I think of tequila with worms in the bottom and pictures of dudes in sombreros on the side.  I don't think of St Louis based Bud. But, who knows... It doesn't taste bad and that is the really important thing.  But, other than the 24oz cans, all I could find it was in a 12 pack.  That is a LOT of syrupy beer/rita....and at 8% alcohol, only bad things can happen from that much 'Rita.

A picture is worth 1,000 words

Mostly those words are synonyms of shame and regret

Funny Foto Friday: Look like an accident

It is never a good sign when I have to actually go to my blog to see what the last post was about.  Opps - it was a full week ago. Suffice it to say that I have been eyeballs deep with work.  I have been running, but not as much as I would like. Blarg. But, I did get in a good 10 miler and plan on a tempo run this evening.  All in all I'll get in 40 miles this week. Not the 70 that I'd like to be running, but good enough.

Today's funny foto friday is one that I saved off quite some time ago..... and always something that I would LOVE to do. :)  Happy Friday!

Bonus!!  We all have those friends.  Odds are, a few of the people who are reading this post do this.  They are the people who are melodramatic about EVERYTHING.  They post vague and somewhat depressing things on social media asking people to ask them what is wrong.  Well, this is what happens when you have smart assed friends on facebook.

Bonus Bonus! Rock and roll Nashville (Country music marathon) was a few weeks ago and was a bit of a disaster - it POURED rain the entire time. Well, one unfortunate fellow slept through FOUR alarms and ended up at the race 90 min late.... and was interviewed by the local news! Fortunately he was able to eventually start and ran a 3:40. Not bad!

Funny Foto Friday: Vegan? Really? You sure?

I don't have any tattoos. It isn't because I have some sort of moral objection to them. If you want to get winnie the pooh tattooed on the small of your back, that is your own business.

Play on player

The truth is that I haven't seen anything that I could commit to for longer than a few hours. Bubble gum temporary tattoos? Yes. All day long.  Nothing says "I'm a bad ass" like slapping the Chinese symbol for "water" on your face.  (If I got a tattoo - on my face for sure)

Temporary tattoos - expert mode

Honestly, if I did find something that I liked well enough or that I felt so resonated with "me" I'd get it on me for sure. I'm the only member of my family that doesn't have any ink (see how trendy I sound?) so I could see myself getting something running related at some point. Maybe I'll get the Olympic rings when I finally crack through to the next level?

Olympic rings for the win, broski!

The REAL issue is that no matter what I get, it will eventually look like a huge douche.  Like, for example, being a die hard Vegan so getting some Vegan ink....and then diving face first into a hot dog.  Mmmmmm, vegan.

If this dude is also an Orthodox Jew, he is in REAL trouble

Bonus pic because it is hilarious. I don't even care if it is probably photoshop.

Last weekend, I decided to take my son on the Phoenix light rail and go to the children's museum.  He loves trains and he loves running around w/ bright colored things - so this trip was supposed to be the perfect match between the two.  Well, one thing lead to another and by the time I got on the train and mostly to the museum, it was time to come back.  FAIL.  Turns out, public transportation is smelly slow.

Well, to make up for it, I decided to take him to a park and let him blow off some "sitting down while the train is moving" steam.  So, we get off, I herd him to the park.... only to find out that it was closed for a salsa (the food) competition. Entry fee: $15.  I seriously can't make that up. Morning ruined because of salsa.  So, instead of the museum, our "fun" that morning was just a walk around downtown Tempe, AZ.  Dad fail.  Anyway, hopefully this weekend will be better!  Happy Friday!

Apple sauce to go for the win!

 Checking out the lake in what seem to be 2 year old sized holes in the bridge

Maxing and relaxing on the choo-choo

Mango troubles and pretending to be a foodie

This  morning I ran 6 pain free miles.  It is always funny to me how quickly I forget how amazing pain free miles can be!  My strategy of rolling my legs before and after the run is continuing to keep my shin splints calm so I decided to ratchet up the speed slightly and run a bit of progression. I started at my long run pace of 7:30 and ran about 10 seconds faster each mile until I was down to 6:40.  Overall I ran 6 miles in 43 minutes.  Not bad for a quick run after only 5 hours of sleep the night before.  I’ll take those kinds of runs all day long!

-----------------------------------------------

At my job, we have a tradition that we go out for a nice dinner at the end of each project.  Well, I somewhat hinted in my last post that the end of my current project is near (sort of, long story).  That usually means work sponsored fancy food. I’m not a foodie by any stretch, but I can appreciate nice things.  To that end, last night was so fancy I think that I might have accidentally bought a monocle.

We ate at Kai, the only AAA 5 star restaurant in Arizona.  So, that’s a big deal I guess.  We had a 12 course tasting menu with lots of golf ball sized plates and enough wine parings to make my eyeballs float.  The only downside?  It took FOUR hours.  I was eating for FOUR hours.  But, it was fun and as a friend / colleague pointed out, probably a once in a lifetime experience.  I have pictures of 11 of the 12 courses, and I normally wouldn't post them, but here are a few of the highlights:

Hand painted watercolor and mesquite wood menus

Blue cheese, cherry, candied walnut w/ honey & honeycomb, dates, and some sort of hard cheese

Yeah, lots going on here. Suffice it to say that it was GOOD. There were nuts of some sort on the bottom, the foam on the side is lemon grass, uhhh, there were beets.... uhhhh.... it was pretty good

Pan seared foie gras w/ raisins and crushed pistachio

-----------------------------------------------


This weekend in an effort to eat healthier, I bought a mango.  Well, two mangos. In my messed up world, that is what “being healthy” means.  Not running marathons.... Oh no, it is buying some random fruit in WalMart.  While it is the most popular fruit in the world (did you feel that knowledge bomb hit you in the face?) the only time I would eat a mango would be in salsa or daiquiri form.  So anyway, being the foodie that I obviously am, I have NEVER ate a raw mango.  In fact, at one point during the day today, I googled “how to eat a mango”.  

Damn you mango. I see you there mocking me like a green and red potato

Look, I grew up in the Midwest. I know what a mango is like I know what pair of Jimmy Choos I look best in (just kidding! I totally know – slingback platforms).  So, the fact that I didn’t know exactly how to eat one shouldn’t be a complete surprise.  That said, turns out....eating a mango is kind of a pain in the ass.  There is a huge seed, stringy stuff, they’re juicy – essentially the internet told me that I needed a bib and a drop cloth or I should not be eating this thing at work. Fortunately, I got a few tips from some experts at work that I am going to try....eventually.  So, what was a foodie like me to do?  I ate a fudge dipped granola bar.  Being healthy never tasted so good.

Motivation: Where are youuu??? (Post Marathon Blues)

My son has this thing that he does. He jumps on me and crushes my baby makers EVERY SINGLE TIME. When he is looking for me he’ll yell out “Dada, where arrrreeee youuuuuu????”  Of course, 9x out of 10 I’m in the bathroom so I’ll yell back “BUSY! Watch more Cars!” to which he ignores and comes barging in.

After my last race, (trying not to be one of THOSE people who runs Boston and then talks about it for months after.  Did I mention that I ran the Boston Marathon?) I’m finding myself with a severe lack of motivation to get back out there.  The excuses that I’ve used so far are:

• Work has been crazy. I want to do well, so I’m focusing a lot of my energy at it
• My worthless body requires 6 hours of this thing called “sleep”. You just LAY there and do NOTHING!!!  On top of that, it requires it EVERY DAY!? Ugh, so much upkeep for this stupid meat sack
• I have ZERO races officially on the calendar. Like, none
• I’m still trying to get back into the groove w/ running with no pain post stress fracture
• Because of time with my son, varying schedules with work/running/family, and booze filled passed out stints, I’m having a really hard time finding consistency. Consistency is KEY

The reality is, of course, that all of those excuses are bullshit. I just need to cowgirl up and get my ass in gear. Fast.

Marathon blues, the void that a major race ran leaves behind, is a tough one to shake. I feel like people assume that someone who is my speed or that because I am a coach I should be impervious to post race blahs.  The reality is that unless I have a very clear goal in front of me right after a race I slack off a bit until I find one.  Never mind the fact that I slacked off most of the spring because of my stress fracture, I’m just finding it hard to get up the motivation.

There are lots of things that I could do to get back on track.  Quit my job and start running 120 miles a week for one.  While that would be fun, my useless body not only requires 6+ hours of sleep to function, it also requires FOOD – and that costs money.  So, the job stays.

The reality is that posting this on here is a big step. Holds me somewhat accountable to do the other things that I’m going to call out.  Other than that, first I’m going to find a race and sign up for it. By this weekend, I will be signed up for one marathon within 4 months from now. Second, I’m going to make the necessary changes to my life (read: less wine so I’m less sleepy *sigh*) so that I can get back on my regular schedule.  I’m also going to continue biking 2-3x a week.  As much as it hurts my ass (oh my god like so much) it is allowing me to get some added cardio time which is needed.  But finally, I’m going to set a goal. I need some sort of time or mileage based goal (because I’m a big dumb alpha male) to push me in the right direction.  2:59 marathon? 100 miles in a week? 300 mile month?  Who knows.

Soooo anyway.  That is that – back on track starts NOW.  I feel like I’ve been to confessional.  Does that mean I can drink more wine? I’d better have some wine to be sure.  Mmmmm, confession.